Monday, October 6, 2008

A Mother Helpless

As mothers we protect and love our children unconditionally. There are those occasional times where we are completely helpless and at those times we are lost.

I know I've been there.

This comes from reading my sister Abra's blog, and feeling her pain. I know at times of pain I turn more to my Heavenly Father then ever. I was crying one time to a bishop regarding all my pain and suffering that I was going through in my life. He gave me some wonderful comfort. He reminded me of the atonement and asked if I believed that Christ suffered in the Garden of Gethsemane. Upon my answer, he then asked me why I was feeling like I was suffering by myself. See, I was under the impression Christ suffered for the sinners....not for my heartaches. This bishop told me that as long as I was unwilling to turn my pain over and move on from it, I was causing more pain and suffering on Christ.

Two things happened at this point. The first thing was a pang of guilt that hit me. How selfish was I? Christ has given the wonderful gift of atonement to me and I was not willing to accept it. The second thing was incredibly wonderful and has been a strong foundation for my growing testimony. I felt this incredible peace inside. I felt okay for the first time in my life. I felt arms around me and I knew that everything is alright and I am going through exactly what I need to at this time in my life. I also thought how awesome is it the Christ knows how heavy my heart is, he truly felt and new exactly how I felt. Never again could I ever think I was alone in something and that nobody ever has felt like I.

Thanks to this bishop in my early parenting years, I have been able to turn to my Heavenly Father and weep tears of gratitude and joy for his son that suffered for all of us mothers that have had heartache from their children.

Side note....Isn't weird sometimes you start to blog about something and its changes......I totally didn't mean to bear my testimony of the atonement, but I guess I needed to. I hope you find comfort in it!


Myrna said...

Beautiful. Thank you.