Friday, January 30, 2009

A love for another blogger from another blogger

I read Heather's blog this morning and she is an awesome lady. Heather, her husband and family have decided to donate money to a family whose child suffers from cancer. They have decided to donate a dollar for every comment made. So please click the link : and leave a comment! You can read the story of the family:

Thank You!

Calling 911

I need help!

This last week we have had an Arctic chill in the Mornings and Evenings. This results in making my body ache and become stiff at night and mornings. Johnathan has been such a dear and puts the girls to bed for me.

He does it all, read stories, get them drinks, and say prayers. However than it is a battle for hours before they crash. We've stop watching TV an hour before bedtime, eat an earlier dinner, warmed milk, but we're running out of options.

To top it all off, they wake in the middle of the night. I am at the point of just locking in their room! The problem is, I am afraid one of them will get hurt. We've moved their clothes out, put a lock on the fridge, aaaaaaaaaaah!

They are almost three. This means, they will find any possible way to get in to what ever they can!

Up above the fridge, no problem. We'll just move a chair like so, working together, put another on the counter and voila! We have a month's worth of cereal on the floor. Don't like the nice shiny black microwave? No problem! Mom put some blue paint up on top of the medicine cupboard and it's 2:00 in the morning, so I'll surprise her. Not only will I paint the microwave blue, but I'll add a nice blue decor to the cupboards, walls and bathroom. Mom was able to find which of us twins were behind the wonderful paint job. It was quite surprisingly easy! See, one of us girls woke up the next day with blue hair, a blue face, and blue hands! Funny though, I was the one feeling blue.

So please, please help me come up with some non child abuse methods. We have already discussed duct taping them to the beds, handcuffing and cutting arms off!

Thursday, January 29, 2009

Mischeif, Mister and another name I can't think off,--Oh yeah! Midget.

Isn't he cute? The girls just adore him and he lets them! They'll put him in the stroller, give him bottles, and hug him and squeeze him forever and ever and ever!

RoseMarie's B-Day Pictures

This was the icecream cake that we bought on her actual birthday.
Oops, sideways and I have no time to fix it. Rosie is wearing the jester hat, and her friend Erica and last, but not least Brooke!
This is the cake that she made with the decorating cake set she got from my mom last year!

Sometimes I feel like a horrible mom because I never take pictures like I feel like I should. Oh well, life gores on!!!

My two year olds did Laundry!

There's giggling coming from the other side of the door. Chairs bang into walls as their carriers struggle under their weight. The metal bangs echo as the chairs are set against the large machines. Two little heads try to sneak into the room and tackle a basket 2x bigger then them. He assists the eager helpers with sorting the items from the basket.

"No, that one is white, just the pretty colors in here."

This statement and others similar to it are what I hear from afar. I get up to investigate. My wonderful man is helping the girls start a load of laundry, allowing me to get some rest and watch American Idol.

Now I am quite sure that if HE was the one to tell the story, they were assisting him, but to-may-toe, to-ma-toe, I know what I saw.

I saw a loving father teaching skills to two eager absorbers of information. I saw their eagerness to help with a "grown-up" household task. I saw him so patiently assisting the measuring of the soaps. I saw my family.

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Who Subsituted for Bob Parker or Drew Carey?

I am still sore today, but it's getting better. When the weather is cold, by body rejects it.

Rosie had her party this last weekend. It went okay. I am just not quite prepared for her coming of age. What is with girls this age? She is the most moodiest person I have encountered recently. My stars! I hope that this will end, however everyone says that it only ends when they move out!

I had all my kids up this weekend. It was a lot of fun. All eight of us, plus my sister Josie in a three bedroom apartment. Thankfully we have a pretty big apartment. I can't wait until the warmer weather and they can go outside to play. We have the yard for that. For the first time in months we all went to church together. Unfortunately we were late, which resulted in us sitting in the back overflow section. Never again. I spent the good part of sacrament chasing the twins around. I took them out to do time out and they took off in different directions. Why when mother is out with the babies, does every child (all four of them) need to come out one by one to use the restroom? I find this amusing, after all sacrament is only one hour, yet they can sit and watch TV without moving for hours, if I let them! Kids just behave better if you can get a pew in front.

Last night was fun. Our ward had a emergency preparedness activity for the couples. It sparked Johnathan and mine's attention Sunday, because they mentioned "free" childcare for the girls. I never knew preparing for life's curve balls could be so fun! We played Price is Right. That's right, the game show! Our budget didn't allow Bob Parker or Drew Carey or even the Bob Beauty's, so we had to make do with "Dave" and the Dave Delightful's.......... I never laughed so hard with my ward family before. The contestants, one of which was Johnathan were able to bid on items like tin foil, cooking oil, pancake mix, etc. The even played games that allowed them to win washers and dryers (hand towels) and if portioned right a whole year's supply of breakfast (a large thing of oatmeal)! It was fun and amazing the work that was put into the activity.

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Not much for blogging

I hurt so bad. It's the cold weather change, mixed with fibromyalgia, I hurt. My arms and hands hurt the most. I hope tomorrow gets better, yesterday was aweful.

A NEW family photo

Here we all are, including the newest addition, Mischief the kitty!

Add Image

Friday, January 23, 2009


Okay I have to admit, since my pay raise I feel a tad bit guilty blogging while at work. I hope I overcome that soon, because quite frankly I really have the time!

Yesterday was Rosie's first basketball game. Her team definitely showed drastic need for improvement. They are one of the younger teams, meaning practically the team only has Beehives on it. (For my non-LDS readers, that means girls 12 and 13 yrs old.) The other teams seem to have a fairly good spread of ages. The younger girls seemed to duck when the ball was thrown at them. I was thinking maybe we'd be better off playing dodge ball! The did manage to get two baskets, one being a three pointer, bringing their final score 5-65. Yep, the other team got some baskets. Oh well, she had fun, and that is all that counts.

Watching her play, I realized that I missed playing basketball in Young Womens. I was talking to some other cheer leaders on the side line and was informed that there is basketball for ladies later in the evening. I came back for that and learned a few things:

1. I am old.

2. I am out of shape.

3. There is a reason why basketball players don't have fake nails on.

4. I am quitting smoking today!

Number four is an obvious given, but it took running back and for on the court for me to realize that it is now a must. I love to get competitive, however I can't play and smoke at the same time. This is the last of really bad habits I must let go of, and I am doing it. Be fore warned....I may retaliate with random postings of venting thoughts.

Number three is in result of breaking a nail. Yes, it hurts! Tonight, you'd think I'd go and get them taken off, right? Wrong! I love my nails. I am going to get them cut a little shorter and get the nail put back on the broke. I'll learn to suffer through the pain, grinning and bearing it all.

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

I am a little bloggerd

In reading all the blogs I visit, I had some great ideas to blog about. One of them was regarding the twins and their new "improved?" looks. Other ideas included funny thing the twins did, another was to post the picture I got of Rosie blowing out her candles. I am doing none of that to day. In fact I started this blog with no idea of what my fingers were going to spurt out.

Yesterday was Rosie's Birthday. It was a hectic day. I started the day out great, except for a late start in the morning, which forced me to take the freeway to work. I hate the freeway, especially in the morning rush hour. Johnathan you are right, it is faster! I got to daycare the same time as I normally did, with a ten minute late start. I hate the fact that he is right.

After dropping the twins off at daycare, Rosie at school; I headed to the store to get cupcakes for Rosie's school. I can be a "PTA" mom sometimes, but I am not usually this way. This may have been the first time that I have been able to do this for one of the kids. I got to work and had a pretty slow morning. I left to Rosie's school. I was going to take pictures, but as usual didn't think of that until after I was in my car heading back to work! Rosie got to have her 15 minutes of embarrassment, I mean spot light! She shared that her goal is to go to BYU and become a teacher. I am so proud she has an idea of a college at age 12!

When I got back to work the office was in shambles, okay not that bad, but it was very busy! I got my orders out, bills entered and it was time to leave. I hate messy desks, so I hid the mess, and picked up the kids.

Olivia and Sabrina, like most of my kids HATE wearing shoes. They get this trait from me, but it is still annoying. It never fails, on the drive home I get hit in the head with a shoe! Nothing is more surprising then to be engaged in conversation or to be singing "I have a tiny turtle" and then CONK! No warning either. I seriously think they need to invest in some kind of super glue invention for kids shoes.

Back to my day. I drop Rose off at home and go to meet Johnathan to pick up Rosie's present. I was being punished for not being able to pick up her present earlier. I mean seriously what was I thinking; shopping with two, two year olds, at WalMart, during supper time? I was in practically in tears when Johnathan met up with to take the girls back to the car. Then there was a problem with the TV we got her and something with the serial number. It never ceases, if you are in a hurry, e-v-e-r-y item will have a issue. I was so patient, waited and smiled, "I'm sorry" to the line of customers behind me. I know it's not really any ones fault, if anyone its me to blame for trying to hurry and bringing the twins along with. Poor Johnathan waiting in the car with the girls screaming like he was beating them. In fact when I came out he was standing outside the car, looking like someone might just accuse him of that!

The rest of the night went okay, we sang Happy Birthday, did cake with the neighbors and gave her the present. After the kids were laying down, I had the bright idea to start Johnathan's taxes. Needless to say I got his taxes done and was able view the back of my eyelids about 1:oo a.m.

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

I can't promise this'll be the last post for the day!

Yesterday was an awesome day! I have hinted once or twice at my boss about a raise, but was not prepared to ask for one until the end of February.

I am an excellent employee, however I am just one of those people that have things happen. Before kids, the things that happened were workable. Since having kids, especially the twins, life just seems to be a roller coaster of unexplainable events. I mean seriously, how many of you know someone who has to leave work to get their son out from underneath a table in kindergarten? Why are you thinking couldn't the teacher do it? Duh! He was throwing chairs at anyone who got close enough!

In one week, my dad had a triple by-pass surgery AND my car's engine killed. Within less than 4 months, I get into two car accidents and my daughter almost dies!

At least I get breaks every now and then. I found this wonderful company that I now work for. The boss has twins, so he understands a little. I was told never to feel guilty if I have to miss work because of my kids!

I received a raise, not huge, but nothing to shrug at either. I have demonstrated that I am a faithful employee, within the 5 months of being here. It still surprised me all the same. There is not much work for me to do (obviously I'm blogging). It's nice to get appreciated.

The reason why I moved.

In April, the girls and I moved into a small quaint home, with an incredible backyard! We thought it would be a nice fresh start, a new beginning. It was horrible. Not only did Rose see ghosts and what not, the roof leaked. I called the landlord and let her know in May. Then I called her again in June, July..... She finally got the roof fixed in September. I asked when she was going to repair the inside of the roof and walls. Her response was "I'll have someone call in a week."

Nobody called in a week, nobody called in two weeks. I did some action on my own. The first thing I did was write a nice letter to the landlord, explaining that this was a health issue for my family. The next thing I did was get in touch with the environmental department. The came out and took pictures and sent their own nice letter to the landlord. I also called the housing department and sent them a copy of the letter that I wrote to the landlord.

Talk about patience! I sent a letter every week to the landlord, environment department and housing department. I then met with an attorney. See most people would just move, but I had a one year lease at this place and I couldn't afford to break it. To quote my landlord, "It would be against the law if I let you move out and I would have to take you to court." Obviously she is unaware of a mutual breech of contract we could both sign, making the original null and void. Any, the attorney told me that if I could find a doctor that would sign a paper, stating that the mold in the house would be an environmental endangerment, I could move, WITHOUT any notice to the landlord. I would break my lease based on the mere fact that it was endangering the help of my children, primarily Sabrina.

It took all but about two weeks to get the letter. Unfortunately that was just before my unfortunate fourth car accident. We finished moving the first week of December. The landlord called me after finding out that she could not take me to court on me "abandoning" the property and left a sweetly sarcastic message.

I feel sorry for her new tenants. They are, I'm quite sure completely unaware of the battle she has ongoing with the environmental department.

This is the light that during rain storms and for about a day after, I had to make sure none of the children turned on the light. We had a shower pour from this fixture, every time it rained!
This is the wall that she didn't really think that needed to be fix after having a roof leak for over 6 months (at least)!
More of the same wall. The smell of mildew was so overpowering when you walked into the house. The environmental lady said that it was one of the strongest smell mildew she had encountered.

RoseMarie's B-Day

Rosie is demonstrating how she thinks we ought to carry the twins.........

RoseMarie playing "hippie ball" She is the slender thing in jeans and boots!

More pictures to come soon!

Happy Birthday, RoseMarie!
She is 12 years old today.
One of my best friends I have.

Monday, January 19, 2009

All weekend I have been thinking of what to blog about today. Not that I didn't have an eventful weekend, but how to word it in a way not to embarrass, find fault or hurt the people involved.

It started early Friday morning, although I was unaware of it. Johnathan left the house quite upset at me. I didn't suspect anything until I called him about having the car seats in his car. There was no answer. I couldn't afford to miss an unplanned day of work, so I pulled some old car seats out and went on my way. I blogged about the wonderful night I had with my daughter and how he was the one that was able to provide that for me.

Then I got a call from a "do-gooder" friend, telling me some info about Johnathan I really may or may not need to hear. I listened to it, and then called Johnathan. No answer. I sat all day with this little tid-bit of information growing like a tape worm inside of me. By then end of the work day I had this monstrous vision of what this small tidbit of information was really about. I tried to confront him, but he was upset about his thing, and I was so consumed with mine, we weren't getting anywhere. A friend volunteered to take the twins, and I left for the night.

We were over, so I thought. This ticked me off even more. How could he not see how upset I was? I was hurting, yet he didn't care. Ugh.

He texted me about 7 a.m., asking me to come home. I went home, not to talk to him, but to shower and get clothes. I saw him standing there. He hadn't slept and he looked as if he had been crying. "I love you," he said, "and I missed you so much."

We spent most of Saturday and a good part of Sunday talking about us and setting healthy boundaries for our disagreements. I am so thankful to be in a relationship with someone who listens. We know that we love each other. We also know that we will have disagreements, but now we know that we can work through them, as long as we both are willing. A good relationship takes work, especially with someone who is has stubborn as I!

Friday, January 16, 2009


I had all could intentions to post pictures that I have taken of Rosie monkeying around with the twins, however the thingy to transport the pictures from my phone/camera to the computer is in one of its moods. I hope you can all handle my technology lingo, it's pretty sophisticated.

Yesterday was a busy one, after work that is. I rushed to get Sabrina to the ears, nose and throat doctor. While waiting there I saw a friend from the past. I am always a little leery when running into people from my past. For those that don't know, I used to be addicted to methamphetamines and was quite wild. Now that I am back on track, I am scared to rock the boat. I hadn't seen my girlfriend for about seven years. She has been clean for sometime now and like myself, went back to school and got a degree. Yeah! I can be friends with her again!

As for Sabrina... the doctor said for the first time in her short lived life, he can see deep into her nose! Also for the first time, I had a doctor tell me that her ears were dry! That means no ear infections! She did have a teeny bit of moisture at the base of her ear drum, but he thinks that it'll go away on its own. The only think that we have to keep checking on is her holes in her ear drums. He says that if the ears can stay clear of the ear infections, then they should heal on their own! We don't go back for TWO months!!!!!! Thank you for your prayers and please continue them.

Johnathan met us at the doctor office and took the twins, so that I could check out a charter school for RoseMarie. I like this school, but I like this other one better, so we will have to see. Registering for charter schools is such a pain in the butt! I have her registered at about six in the valley, but will not know until spring, if she gets into one. They base it on a lottery system, so it's the luck of the draw.

RoseMarie then had basketball practice/rule orientation for the Young Women Basketball. Her two friends played hippie-ball. They toss the ball back and forth and yell "righteous" and "peace out" and make hippie signs. Aaaaaaah, to be twelve again!!! It was nice to sit and watch Rose and her friends. Her first game is Thursday, January 22nd. I took a picture, but I'll have to post it later.

I am grateful to have a guy in my life that allows me the opportunity to spend moments like this with my kids one on one.

Thursday, January 15, 2009

I did it!

That's right, I did the first big scary task at hand! RoseMarie went to her first Young Women activity, and I barely cried. Her friend in the ward even came and picked her up early and I was okay. She went ice skating, I sat home with Olivia, and Sabrina and Johnathan went shopping.

Although I was sick, I stayed up until she got home. She came into the house with flushed red cheeks, bright red nose, and wet pants. "I fell a hundred times," she said, grinning from ear to ear! "Did you have fun?" I asked. She nodded her head in excitement. "I wasn't the best skater, but Brooke fell more times then me!"

I am glad she has made some friends since the move. I am glad that she had fun. I knew she'd like Young Women's. Kids grow up so quickly!

A quick thanks to those who have been so willing to talk to Miss Olivia on the telephone. If I am talking on the phone, never fear Olivia is right there, "I want to talk to her!" She gets quite loud and demanding with this request. Grandma, Aunts and close friends don't mind, however I find that doctor offices and telemarketers tend to seem a little put out if I honor her request! Aunt Josie and Grandma Layton are her two favorite people to converse with. She loves to tell Aunt Josie to look at things that she sees. Last night she would have called her another three times had I let her. She would bring me the phone and say, "Josie, talk to her."

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Fear vs. Hope

What do I fear one my sweet child asked me the other day.

Spiders I told him as simple as that.

It’s not as simple as that, or such a quick response. I have a daughter approaching the Junior High years, and as I look at my other children, I have so many fears. Hey that rhymed and I didn’t try!

I am scared that she won’t fit it, or have the right clothes. I am scared that she’ll do drugs or try alcohol. I am scared that she’ll be bullied, or be the bully. I am scared she’ll have a bad teacher or get bad grades. I am scared that life will scar her and she won’t want to talk to me about “stuff” anymore. I am just scared.

I am glad that I am typing this and no one has to see the tears falling on the paper……
I have hope though. I hope that I have taught her principles that she can rely on. I hope that I have taught how a wrong choice may affect her whole life. I hope that I have taught her all that she needs. I hope no matter what she knows that I love her so much, I’d die for her if I had to. I hope, no matter what, she’ll tell me what’s going on in her life.

I am so stubborn!

So Monday night, just as I fall asleep around 10:30 p.m., my daughter wakes me up to ask a question. Seriously, 10:30????? So I lay in bed, with the eyes shut till about 4 a.m. The result? I was a walking zombie yesterday!

Thankfully I have a wonderful guy in my life that allowed me to lay down and go to sleep early. I was out before American Idol even started! He comes to bed at 9 and turns up the TV. I wake up. Determined NOT to have another repeat of the night before, I run to Walgreens. I pick an assortment of meds, NyQuil, Mucinex and Tylenol PM. I slept like a baby, right through the night!

Side note for us mothers.....I always thought that the saying "slept like a baby" was a little off. I mean when I think of a baby sleeping I think of waking up every two hours or so.............

To bring up the stubbornness part. As mentioned above my wonderful guy, was indeed the one who turned up the volume of the TV and awoke me. In going to Walgreens, I remembered that I was hungry and got a chili at Wendys. I came home took above mention assortment of meds and eat my chili while watching a rerun of Everybody Loves Raymond. The wonderful guy asked me to turn down the TV. I looked at him and ignored his response. See when I watch TV at night I have it turned down say volume 10 or 11, when he watches TV he has it for low volume at around 18, sometimes higher. Needless to say I eventually turned it down to like 8, but I did it on my time, not his.

I am brat sometimes. I usually when lying down to watch TV will put it at around volume 8, but just out of spite, I kept it up higher.

There is a simple solution. I will get it for him, maybe for me. They are those headphone devices that amplify the sound for people hard of hearing. Maybe that way the next time he wants to watch the news, he will wear those, instead of turning up the volume.

I have to say though, if this is the worst of our fights, I am completely happy!

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

21 Days?????

I have been fighting a cold for the last 6 days. It's horrible! Wednesday night I felt it coming on, you know the aches, chills and sweats. Thursday my voice started going and I lost my rosy cheeks. By Friday I thought I was knocking at deaths door! Saturday I blew off my class at People Helping People and started to feel better! Sunday I went to church and felt okay, then I laid down with the twins and took a nap. I awoke in a sweat, swollen throat and no voice. It got worse from there. Monday I got up to get ready, with all good intentions, to go to work.

Rosie came to my door and and said her throat hurt, and she didn't feel very good. That's all I needed after a night of no sleep! Okay, we'll stay home and go to the doctors! I called work and took the day off. I made two doctors appointments, one for myself and one for her. Despite my sick demeanor, I was very proactive yesterday. I took three kittens to a pet store before my appointment.

In meeting with my doctor he told me that I have a cold, the flu cold kind. It's the adult form of croup. There is nothing I take to speed up the recovery process. I then asked him how long is the recovery process was. 21 days!!!!!! Needless to say I am back at work today, and will be for the rest of this sickness. Like I can miss 21 days of work!

Friday, January 9, 2009


Well it's been a few Fridays, but I'm back on track. The last post introducing my children. My last daughter is Sabrina! Sabrina is the youngest of the twins. She also has experienced the most medical problems, related to premature birth. She is a fighter though and a real trooper.

Out of all my children, Sabrina is the only one that has inherited her Auntie's ability to give the meanest looks in the world! I have no clue how she learned how to do this, but she's been doing since about birth. She also possesses another unique talent. At four months she learned how to growl, thanks to Grandma Laurie. Although she still struggles with her speech, this child can growl in the most bizarre way. Sometimes it seems as if she is possessed! It's so funny, if I ever can figure out how to get sound up here, I'll show you!
Sabrina is a Diva, in the making. She loves to sing, quite loudly too. She loves singing along to hymns in church and to with her family. If we ever visited your ward, I'm sure you'd know, we'd be the family with the squawking almost three year old in the back. Luckily she's so cute, or I'd be embarrassed.
If Sabrina could have it her way, which she does a lot of the time, she would be dressed in high fashion! Her favorite outfits are princess dresses (any long dress), high heeled shoes (amazingly she can walk in them!), and any accessory she can get her hands on (hats, scarfs, rings, necklaces, etc.).
Her nicknames are Beanie-bot, Briny, and Cookie. Her favorite food is CANDY, frozen peas, grapes, bananas and elephants. She also loves anything princess.
I will update you on her surgery after the followup next week.

Thursday, January 8, 2009

What are you?

Some point in my life I came across a pretty well known poem/saying that touched me. It got me thinking about ways to approach situations in my life. Some people think issues are road blocks or barriers, but I know think of them as a change of direction or hurdles to jump over.

Some people see a closed door and turn away.
Others see a closed door and turn the knob.
If it doesn’t open they turn away.
Still others see a closed door, try the knob.
If it doesn’t open they find a key.
If the key doesn’t fit they turn away.
A rare few see a closed door,try the knob.
If it doesn’t open they find a key
If the key doesn’t fit-
They make one!

I try to be a key maker in my life. What are you?

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

Yesterday....all my troubles seemed so far away

Okay not really, but it was a good day.

I applied for the Master of Library Science program through Clarion University. Wow! I just have one more letter of reference to receive back, and I am done.

My work is incredible! I told my boss what I was doing and he thought it was awesome. I told him that as long as I get raises every six months I would continue working here. He said that wasn't a problem, and also pointed out that I have free time at work to study. I am so lucky for this job.

Thanks to Heidi and my mother who assisted me in my application process, and also to my previous instructors and supervisor who took the time to recommend me to the University.

After working, I went to a seminar on how to apply for a job with the Federal Government, sponsored by People Helping People. It was amazing! This Human Resource guy explained the complete applying process to us, which is quite complicated. I also found out that they even have jobs for librarians through the Federal Government!

I was tired, but felt like I accomplished a lot at work. I love those eventful days!

Tuesday, January 6, 2009

Terror turns to an Awakening

August 30st, 2002 was a horrible night.

I was living with a guy who decided that I was cheating and lying to him.

He tried to kill me. He snapped my wrist and broke it in two places, held a knife to my neck, dragged me by my hair around the house, kicked me, choked me, threw knifes at me, threw a garbage can on me, and held me at gun point.

Miraculously he let me go. Thankfully none of my children witnessed this, however they had to witness me healing from it.

I went to a battered women's shelter. I was beaten inside worse then the outside.

How could this have happened to me????

I kept replaying this awful night over and over and over. I was hoping to see something, anything, I did to possibly set off this behavior. After about a year in therapy, my therapist explained to me that I needed to stop seeking for an explanation. There it was plain and simple. She told me that there was no justifiable explanation for what happened, and until I was ready to accept that, I was preventing myself from being able to move on.

I am so grateful that I went through this now. Bizarre, I know, but I'll explain.

When I divorced my first ex-husband, I just knew that God did not want me to be raising my children on my own. I knew that he would find a husband for me. I seriously believed that. So much so, that I grabbed at any possible relationship I could. I felt that I was so desperate, I mean who would seriously want to date an uneducated 23 yr old with three kids?

How young and foolish was I back then?

After that awful night, I sought out help. Not just to mend the wounds of abuse, but to become a stronger mother, person in life. It didn't happen over night, and by all means I was and still never perfect, but I learned a lot about life.

I learned first most that it takes time to get to where you want to be. Nobody wakes up with their education finished and behind a nice desk in a huge corner office. It takes time.

I started thinking about where I was at and who I possibly wanted to attract in my life. I started modeling the behaviors of people I wanted as friends. Now those people are my friends, one is my fiance.

I was asked the other day if I could go back in time, would I change anything?

The only way that I would change anything, is if I could take with me the knowledge I have gained through my life's experiences.

I have scars from that night, three on my wrist, but mostly on the inside. I am so grateful for them. They have healed as most do, but with a little bit more knowledge of life.

I no longer have to worry that my opinion is not valid.

I no longer have to worry I may talk to the wrong person, how clean my house is, how noisy my children get.

I know that we are safe and that we/I don't have to rely on my"knight in shining armor" to "rescue" us. I get to be in a healthy relationship that for the most part is 50/50, with the occasional tip of the scales.

I have a new found empowerment that I never had six years ago. It is such an incredible feeling to be freed from the negative talk I did to myself. After all, I am a child of God. I am a woman of worth.

Monday, January 5, 2009

Blog Award!

Yes! I won an award! My lovely sister Abra, whose blog is now private, gave me an award!

Now I have to tag seven people's blog with this award..................

1) Arrika at Arrikas Ego Trip

2) Heather at It's a Wonderful Life

3) My Mom at Laytonolgy

4) Emily at The Bakers

5) Kym at Temporary? Insainty

6) David at Life, the Universe and Everything

7) Maryanne at Schmalz Family

Check out these blogs of family and friends...........Thankyou, Thankyou very much!

Something a Little Christmasy

Okay, I don't have a lot of paitence to do Gingerbread sculptures like my Sister Nancy, or baking talent like my sister Abra, however I do buy pre-made cookie dough and bake like crazy to do various cookie platters around Christmas time. One tradition in our house is that the kids get to make Christmas Tree center pieces for the trays. This year, we just made one for the kids to eat............. Above Sabrina's masterpiece....Below Olivia's
Olivia, demostrating why we choose not to use these as center pieces
Rosie bravely chased Andrew around to get a "green" picture.
Sabrina's half eaten masterpiece.
Matthew proudly showing off his Christmas Tree!
Look at how well they worked together!
Olivia posing mid ice...............

Sister, Sisters

There were never such devoted sisters,
Never had to have a chaperone, no sir,

I’m there to keep my eye on her Caring, sharing
Every little thing that we are wearing

When a certain gentleman arrived from Rome
She wore the dress, and I stayed home

All kinds of weather, we stick together
The same in the rain and sun

Two different faces, but in tight places
We think and we act as one

Those who’ve seen us
Know that not a thing could come between us
Many men have tried to split us up, but no one can
Lord help the mister who comes between me and my sister
And lord help the sister, who comes between me and my man
(Irving Berlin)

Changing my blog....

My sis requested I change my blog, however I am doing it without smiles because I hate changing all the widgets. I will have them all added when I have time..........enjoy!

Sunday, January 4, 2009


My car accident.........................

awwwww how cute!
What a good mama.

More pictures to come.................

Friday, January 2, 2009

Last two weeks........

I have some pictures to post, but I'll try and do it this weekend.

I have been a stay at home mom for the last week and a half. I am so thankful for my job. I love my kids, but I appreciate them more after working!

Sabrina survived her surgery, however they think her problem is pneumonia. I guess there is a type that doesn't attack the lungs, in her case just the sinuses. I'll find out more in a week or so....

Matthew turned 10 on Monday, we're going to go to Chuckie Cheese tomorrow.

Christmas was nice. I loved seeing all six of my kids getting along and playing/hanging out with each other so well.

Christmas Eve dinner went over smoothly, found two yummy recipes, will post them later for those that want them. As for me right now I have a week and a half worth of mail and invoices to process. Write again soon.............