What I do?

I am the office manager for a company that manufactures pipette tips. See the picture above. Pipette tips go on to pipettes, like the ones below.

When I first applied for the job, I didn't even know that they existed, but I have come to find out how much is out there that we didn't know about. Some plastic junky thing is being made for an ideal purpose, and making someone some money. I just invoiced someone over $30,000, for these plastic tips*. I am still stunned.

*We did ship 9 pallets of boxes full of these tips.

How can I put it into words?

For those of you that have been reading my blog, you know that I have been struggling with my spouse and my 12-yr old. I don't go into too much detail, because, quite frankly, it's my business. I blog about my issues in general, so I can either come up with my own solutions or read your comments and try out others suggestions.

I feel inside, like I am walking through the eye of a storm. It's quite, almost peaceful, but I am still nervous looking out in that horizon. I know I should relax, and enjoy these "happy" days, but I feel on edge. I am tired, I wish I could hibernate like the bears for the winter.

I still have to live life, take care of the house, family, etc. For some reason, I just last night and today, feel like I am going through the motions, with no emotions. That Kleenex commercial pops into my head. You know the one? Touch-Touch-Touch-Touch-Touch-FEEL. I hope I get to feel today.

Reflective Flashback

I like to think that I was a free spirited child growing up. Truth be told, I am surprised that I saw my next birthday. My mom has gray hair, and I can testify that most of those are from me. Not that I am proud of it, but they remind me how much my parents loved me and taught me about unconditional love. I think that is the key to parenting. Loving your children NO MATTER WHAT!

From a small age I was independent. Always wanting it my way. I can imagine the patience of my mother as she watched me struggle to get on this most embarrassing outfits....the embarrassment she felt as a young mother who had inherited the child with the worst fashion sense on the planet! A child who finally had to have her hair chopped like a boy because it "touched her ears". The love she had when she taught me how to read at a young age and allow me to explore the world around me. I think of the fear that rose through her body as she panickly saw me dripping wet after nearly drowning in the pool, as she picked up the motor cycle on top of my squashed little body, as she cleaned my scrapes and bruises from falling out of trees, off fences, whatever else I could climb.

Such patience my parents both showed. Imagine getting their first of many phone calls, saying I was in trouble, again. I lied a lot, stole a little, made life difficult for my younger siblings, however whenever I needed my mom and dad, no matter how much I had disregarded them, they were there.

Now that I am a parent, and I experience "normal" behaviors with my children, the difficulties with my husband, the gray begins to show. I remember how I was so selfish as a child, to realize I affected so many people by my behavior. I hope that when my daughter begins to show signs of heavy graying, she'll be able to reflect back and be thankful that her parents showed her unconditional love.

Mom, Dad, I know I can never redo the past, but I can thank you for it. I truly appreciate and can see the love you showed me through everything. You have taught me unconditional love, and because of that, I can show my children, your grandchildren what that is. My job as a parent is to love them no matter what their fashion sense is, attitude is, behavior is.

Thank you!

Help! Maybe this will open eyes?

Okay, this isn't a give away, yet, but I need some help! I need comments.

I would like my friends and family, new parents, old parents, whatever, to help me out. If you have a story regarding a young teen who stole, lied or broke a rule, I wanna hear!

Just leave a comment, brief description of the rule broken, and if the child has turned out fairly functioning, or if they are locked up.

I want to test my synopsis of just because children break parental rules growing up, they don't turn into harden criminals.

Please help me show my husband, my kids are normal, that the odds are they probably will not be holding banks up or randomly shooting up Walmart or something.

There is Hope for Every Soul That's Lost

Have you ever walked along two unstable objects and felt that twinge of possibly splitting in two?

That's how I feel.

I have hope though. Nothing happens without reason and I am eagerly awaiting to see my life's lesson through all of this. I just hope my hair doesn't turn completely gray and I am able to walk away with some nails on my finger tips..........

War what is it good for, absolutly NOTHING

I tired of being a mediator. I am tired of be asked to side with someone. I am just T-I-R-E-D!!!!

Life comes in all angles and sometimes you feel like your in a row boat with no oars, in the middle of a storm at sea. Pretty much you are screwed, anyway you look at it. Jumping into the sea sometimes seems easier then hanging on for dear life and riding the waves out.

I claim to be a key maker in my life, for those that don't know what that is check out this former blog posting. I am trying piece together bits of things that I am struggling with and put together a road map that last night was shredded into pieces.

I know that I am a mother first and all life's tribulations and pleasures for me have to be set aside, for my children.

More later....let me find some tape........

Awards Dinner

Last night was my night, so to say.

I have been working with a wonderful non-profit organization called People Helping People, located in Salt Lake City. They mainly work with women in the community and teach very valuable job hunting tools.

They take an in depth look at your hard and soft skills, and then help compile a wonderful Resume. You are teamed up with volunteers in the community who are successful employees and teach you how to get a job that pays.

I have completed four months of workshops, and I have completed the third level, and last night was the awards dinner where I was recognized for all the time that I have put in and all the hard work I have done.

Some of the stuff I learned are duh moments, but for some reason when someone puts everything together it sticks with you.

I highly recommend this program to anyone who is a women seeking to make enough money to support their family.

Check their website out :http://www.phputah.org/

White Flags????

First off I must apologize to anyone I may have come across in my life between the ages of 9 and 18. I owe a huge debt to my mother who must have had to deal with this:lovely spirit, when approaching me with some life or death task, like washing the dishes after supper. I think my hair has gotten even grayer this last day or two. At work yesterday after I experienced a near death brush with the hormone raising twelve year old, I pondered and concocted different counter techniques to shield myself from the blows. I pull up and wait at the doors of the school, wondering what demon like child would enter my car. Much to my surprise and shock this is what I saw emerge from the heavy metal doors:

She skipped into her seat, with an angelic smiles and bursts into a bubble tale of the happenings of the day. I listened with my jaw dropped in awe. Was this the same demon possessed child I forced to go to school? Was there an exorcism performed, I was not aware of? Not only did she have a good day she was looking forward to the nights activities at the church. No talk of moving, or negatives at our house.

She went to Young Womens and her dance preparation and came home in the same pleasant mood.

So I have stripped myself of the battle gear, for right now, because I know my daughter, love my daughter, but our battles our just beginning!

It's War Baby

I strap my helmet onto my head, after making sure that the bullet proof vest is in place. I prepare to pull up my protective shield as I enter the uncharted waters. I have heard rumors about other entering the rapids and eventually finding their way out, but that is a long time for me to see at this point. I hear slamming and growling and I see the glaring eyes in the distance. Do I dare approach?

No I'm not preparing for some war in the jungle, just a stand off between parent and twelve year old.

I don't think she understands the person she up against. I am the queen of debate and the champion of dodge ball. I was the big sister and the rebellious child. I have plenty of ammunition in stock.

You ready? Cause there are no stops on this ride.

She is trying to convince me life is so hard and it would be so much better at her dads. She is tearing apart everything and making it sound pretty horrible.

Attack one, last night after 10 pm:

She hates getting up so early in the morning to get ready for school and help get the twins dressed.

Counter:

I let her sleep in till 15 minutes before we had to leave to get dressed, do her hair and what not....Didn't even need her assistance to get the girls dressed.

Attack:

She's sick and doesn't want to go to school.

Counter:

Okay, fine you can lay in my office all day, because you're tired of being left alone during the day.

Attack:

Refuses to wear a coat in pouring rain.

Counter:

Took her to school and called to make sure that she could stay in for recesses.

Attack:

Didn't want to get out of the car at school.

Counter:

Picked her up and carried her into the front office and told them she didn't want to get out of the car and made an appointment for her to see the school counselor today.

Bring it on.....I think tomorrow I may just wear some fugly outfit and show up to check on her at school....I think I'll make sure I let the twins do my hair.....

I am not allowing her to move in with her father, right now. It probably would be a little easier if I did, but I think she needs to put a little effort into our home and giving it a honest chance. I don't think her dad's place is any better, just different.

I am still tired...

The alarm didn't go off this morning, but some how I still managed to get myself and the twins and hubby into the car by 7:15 (after waking up at 6:45). We are buying a new alarm clock tonight!

Life is still hectic and I am swimming through the rapids in a boat with paddles, but I feel as though I am not strong enough to paddle at times.

As I mentioned earlier the cat has had her kittens, pictures are to come. I am so glad that we as humans don't get pregnant as often or have as many in our litters as cats. I mean that would mean since Dec. we would have 8 babies under the age of one!!!!!

The twins are active. So active Jonathan and I have decided to find a dance class for them on Saturdays. Anyone that lives in the South end of the Valley (Herriman, Riverton, Draper, Sandy) and knows of a reasonably priced dance studio let me know.

The twins have the scare each other fake sleep thing going on. It's pretty comical except when your in the car and every 30 seconds, someone snores, then the "Roars" and then the other responds in a high pitch "you scared the crap outta me" scream, followed by joined fits of laughter, and then repeated until the car comes to a complete stop in front the destination.

I still need to take Sabrina in to get her immunity work done, however we do not see the ENT for 2 months!!!!

I still need to take Rosie in for her testing before this time next month.

I need to organize my house, hopefully the people downstairs move soon!!! (I like them, I just want to move and get it over with it).

I made my first small profits on Ebay, the next two months should tell more.

I had emergency work done on a molar and have to go back June 15th to finish up.

I found two more jobs I am applying for through the federal government, I also am still waiting to find out if I made the selection for an interview.

I found out I won't be done with PHP for another couple of months, which means I will still get an award or two on Apr 16, but I'll be invited to attend another awards dinner in 4 months....it's okay, but I was hoping to meet the deadline!

I never got my sitter this weekend, going to try for this up coming one....any offers?????

I need to get my visiting teaching set up this week.....

Easter!

Yesterday we took the girls to the mall to see the Easter Bunny. However they were not the impressed until we met the Tomatoe Head. this guy was sooooo much cooler!

I love Sabrina's pose here! (We weren't allowed to take a photo of the Easter Bunny, we'll scan a copy on eventually....

We stopped for minute at the Merry go round in the mall.

Here are some easter pictures, I am tired, the cat had 4 babies, and it took about 2 hours to find them. Anyone want a kitty in 6 weeks??????

Oops!!!!!!!!!!

I can't find the pause button!!!

Life has been so busy. I drop at the end of the day, only to find my alarm going off in the morning.

Jonathan and I are going to try our hand at selling on E-Bay, I've been reading and exploring with that, give me 6 months and I'll let you know how things are.

I also am applying for any position I can possibly do with the Federal Government. I really want to work there, and I hope one of my applications will be accepted.

I also am almost completed with People Helping People, well the area where they help me anyways! I have about 60 pages to complete by April 14th, to fully complete the program. This is really important to me, because I want to be part of the Women's Professional Network, and be able to one day mentor one of the women starting out in the program. On the 16th of April, I will attend an awards dinner and have to give a couple presentations about the program. Luckily I don't mind public speaking, so I am not stressing on this, yet.

I almost have Rosie fully registered to start school next year, however I still have to figure out when she can take her math placement test. I was informed she'll probably be taking algebra, not pre-algebra next year, but they want to officially test her first.

I also am cleaning up Jonathan's computer and installing some stuff, and I don't REALLY know what I'm doing, so that means, it takes longer.

I was going to slowly start spring cleaning, but found out we're moving to a bigger apartment, so I've put that on hold. The move is not that bad, but it still is work.....

Our Mama cat is pregnant, again...

Sabrina has to go up to primary children's for some immunity testing, but I don't when I'll have time to do this,

Although work is struggling, we are busier then ever and I can't keep my desk cleaned off.

I need a sitter for next Friday.

I need to decide if I am getting my Master's this year or not.

Jonathan is looking for a new job, and I have to help him.

Dinner is at 6:30......

There is no pause button.....

It's okay, I can only do what I can!