It's War Baby

I strap my helmet onto my head, after making sure that the bullet proof vest is in place. I prepare to pull up my protective shield as I enter the uncharted waters. I have heard rumors about other entering the rapids and eventually finding their way out, but that is a long time for me to see at this point. I hear slamming and growling and I see the glaring eyes in the distance. Do I dare approach?

No I'm not preparing for some war in the jungle, just a stand off between parent and twelve year old.

I don't think she understands the person she up against. I am the queen of debate and the champion of dodge ball. I was the big sister and the rebellious child. I have plenty of ammunition in stock.

You ready? Cause there are no stops on this ride.

She is trying to convince me life is so hard and it would be so much better at her dads. She is tearing apart everything and making it sound pretty horrible.

Attack one, last night after 10 pm:

She hates getting up so early in the morning to get ready for school and help get the twins dressed.

Counter:

I let her sleep in till 15 minutes before we had to leave to get dressed, do her hair and what not....Didn't even need her assistance to get the girls dressed.

Attack:

She's sick and doesn't want to go to school.

Counter:

Okay, fine you can lay in my office all day, because you're tired of being left alone during the day.

Attack:

Refuses to wear a coat in pouring rain.

Counter:

Took her to school and called to make sure that she could stay in for recesses.

Attack:

Didn't want to get out of the car at school.

Counter:

Picked her up and carried her into the front office and told them she didn't want to get out of the car and made an appointment for her to see the school counselor today.

Bring it on.....I think tomorrow I may just wear some fugly outfit and show up to check on her at school....I think I'll make sure I let the twins do my hair.....

I am not allowing her to move in with her father, right now. It probably would be a little easier if I did, but I think she needs to put a little effort into our home and giving it a honest chance. I don't think her dad's place is any better, just different.

Friday Fumes and Feelings

So I was looking forward towards a birthday celebration with Andrew and Christina, however when planning these types of events between households, sometimes I don't get what I want.

I suppose I have grown some, because as much as I started out this post to vent on how selfish and other words I can use to describe my ex-husband, I no longer have the desire. I am so very thankful he is an ex, and he is so for good reasons.

Jonathan and I have been taking classes for a month now on Step-families, or Bi-Nuclear families every Thursday night. Last night was my favorite discussion. It was on strengthening our relationship. So many times when we have children, we forget about our significant other. We discussed the value of communicating exactly what we need, verses letting our spouses guess. How many times do we think, "If he'd only ......., then I'd know he really understands me." Have we told him? If we don't vocalize what our expectations are then we are only setting our spouse up to disappoint us.

Sometimes you just hafta yell and scream!

I am sad today. I was sad last night. I am frustrated too. Let's throw exasperated in there too.

This is a venting post. I have to get it out, so I can continue on in life without it consuming my thoughts.

My ex-husband is a self absorbed, egotistic, control freak. Sorry, our children who may read this. I've tried hiding it for years, but I can't anymore.

I let him know, two weeks ago what time frame I could take the boys this year for the holidays. I specified the 24th of Dec until the 4th of Jan. Anytime in between there. He wants me to get them on the 20th of Dec. and bring them back on the 27th.

My son's b-day is on the 29th, besides Christmas, New Years......UGH!

I've come up with several different arrangements, but nothing is good for him. Why???? Because his girlfriend's daughter is leaving that week and it's convenient for them and because the boys need a WHOLE week to play with their Christmas toys at their Dad's house before they go back to school.

Let's see.......the 26th Sabrina has surgery, I have to take a full week off to stay home with her. If she wasn't haven't surgery I couldn't even have that off. I offered to take them the 24th-27th then pick them up the 1st-4th.

Am I being irrational? unreasonable?

For seven years he has had our children every Christmas, every Thanksgiving, every other New Year. I have invited this man who insulted my family and me for years and still does, to every birthday party and important event in our children's lives.

He won't let Andrew get baptized now, he is almost 9. He won't let them attend scouts. He who chastised me for not having time to put them in after school programs won't do the same.

My son Andrew struggles there, because Mary ( his girlfriend) dislikes me. Andrew is the squeaky wheel so to say, so he gets the wrath of her anger.

I guess I can be thankful that he (my ex) chooses to remind me why we are exes and no longer together. I try and pray for him, but it so hard to do when you are doing your best not to picture running him over in your car.

I just miss my boys right now. I wish my ex could see the benefits if we work together, not a part.

I'm drying my tears and taking a deep breath and restarting the day.

RoseMarie

I have decided to dedicate my Friday posts to one of my children.

RoseMarie is 11 years old, almost 12! She is not only my biggest helpers, but one of my best friends!

I remember when she was born....I was so young then! She didn't want to leave me, she spent an extra 15 days past her due date! Then I had 3 days of labor with her. When she was born, the doctor told me that I didn't have a newborn, I had a one month old baby! She looked like a porcelain doll.

Rosie was so quick to learn everything growing up. She rolled over early, talked early, crawled early! She never did anything she didn't know how to.

I remember her being able to crawl to the top of the stairs and she would just sit and watch, never attempting to go down. Then one day she went down! I never had to worry about things being flushed down the toilet or my house decorated with toilet paper, she never got into things like that.

She wasn't even two and we would have sentence like conversations. I remember she caught me crying one time, she was about 20 months, and she stroked my head and said, "It's okay mommy, I'm here now." That made me cry even more!

After her first brother was born I thought she was the sweetest big sister! She was so sweet and gentle with him, while I was watching! I asked her father (David) to watch the two children...Rosie almost 2 and Matthew not even a month old, while I took a shower. I got out of the shower and checked the living room, no Matthew! I asked David where he was, without looking from his computer answered, "In the living room." I went and checked again...no Matthew! By this time I am worried, my heart is pounding, and I am checking the door, locked, the window, locked! "David, HE"S GONE!" I scream. He gets up, he thinks I hid him, because I always tell him that he never watches the kids, finally he realizes I am serious.

I mean where could a 1 month old be? We lived in a 2-bedroom, 5 room apartment, but no sign of him. We search every room but Rosie's. I am standing in the hall and I happen out of the corner of my eye see a little foot fly up behind the kitchen set. I move the kitchen set and there is Matthew, squashed between the wall and the kitchen set, but safe and sound!

How did a child who is not quite 2, manage to get her 1 month old brother there?

I found this out about a week later, while I was talking to my mother on the phone. I had my back momentarily turned from the two children. I turned around to see Rosie take Matthew by the ankles and start to drag him from his blanket.

Since that incident, she has accepted the fact that she has siblings and loves them dearly. After the to boys, she would pray every night that she would get a sister. I tell her that she must have been really good, because she wound up with two sisters!

Since the twins birth she has been a second mother to them. I couldn't ask for a better daughter.

I save some more stories about Rosie for another Friday.......I actually have WORK to do!

Engagement Strike Outs?

Okay, so we all know:

Kelline and guys = generally bad luck

Personally I think that there are two major reasons for that.

1-I know what I want from a relationship.
2-I date about the complete opposite.

So I decided after my 2nd ex-husband David, I'd not get serious and focus on other things. Well I ended up meeting Johnathan Dewegeli. I know I've said this is the one before, but he is the one.

I actually spent sometime praying about this and I believe he has too. The wonderful thing I love about this man is that I can be me. He knows that generally I am sweet and good natured, but I can let the feisty Irish spirit out and he still loves me. He doesn't let me walk all over him, but he'll let me vent and then we can talk about things. We can have shallow discussions or in depth ones about nothing of real interest.

Each one f my six children are welcomed by him and each one seems to enjoy his company.

He was afraid I'd hate my ring, so he handed me the box and asked me to open when he was away. I love the ring, it's something he picked out BY HIMSELF for me. After we drove home in separate cars, he met me outside. He told me it was an engagement ring. I told him he should put it on me then. We laughed and I said it'd be funnier if he texted me "will you marry me" on my cell phone. He thought about it, put he wants to redo the proposal, but doesn't know what to do yet.

I told anything is better then the kid's dads proposal! Another story.

I am just glad that I met him, and he will accept me and my kids!

ExHubbies and the X-Factor

Okay so my 1st ex-hubby Dave is like one of those magic eight balls. You know the ones that you used to use to make the major life decisions when younger? Okay, I have no clue how the upcoming weekends are going to be, until I call him. Before I call I know not the person on the other end of the phone. It's kind of like a new t.v. episode....you know the character but not what they'll do.

Anyway, Rose went to a sleep over last weekend, so I was thinking Dave wouldn't let the boys come down for the family reunion. Surprise! I get the boys this weekend too. I was amazed because this is so out of character for him, oh well we will see how the next weekend episode will be, I hope it's as good as this one :).