Boel Family Craze

First Venture of 2011

2011-01-06T17:48:00.002-07:00

The twins and I pile into our beater of a car and head out on the road. We have two hours of hang time, just us alone....

I am exhausted and it's cold, so I want to go do something indoors. What can we do?

I see PetSmart and decide to take them. Have you ever visited a pet store through the eyes of a four year old? Its just as good as the zoo!

We looked at all sorts of fish, watched a hermit crab molt, checked out empty cages that contained a variety of decorations. We made faces at the dogs being groomed. We chased the dogs infront of us in the large window that looked into the doggy daycamp. We laughed as we saw a lizard poop on the window. Our mouths opened with awe as we tried to count how many birds were hiding in the birdy box. (There were over 9!) Then we went to PetCo and saw turtles and a chameleon and more turtles. We climbed in dog houses and cat houses and laughed at dogs peeing in a store. We wanted to taste doggy treats because they looked just like cookies. We saw big crickets and baby crickets and begged no to have the cage opened. Such a wonderful wonderful place to look at animals. We thought hamsters and mice were cute and stinky and clad that we just have Zhu Zhus at home.

How to Become a Tech geek in 72 hrs? Please do help!!!!!

2011-01-06T14:16:00.004-07:00

Eeek....

So I am taking a cram course this weekend....anyone that can help...please do.

My cram course is going to be what people tell me or teach me or can direct me too.

I have to become something I fought my whole life ....over this weekend!

Literally when someone mentions technical garble my brain would turn off, I mean, I always had someone to help me....my dad, a boy....now I have an opportunity to show how quick I learn how to tell someone to map a drive, or the purpose of a IP or why you would Ping a computer.

Ugh......

Pointers or websites.....anyone????

Alarm Issues

2011-01-05T16:13:00.002-07:00

I was so tired today. I don't know exactly why, but I was beat. I had an important appointment at three pm, and took off work early to get some rest. Normally when I get off work I don't really sleep before my appointments and sleep after. This time I left work early to sleep for a while before the appointment.

I set my alarm so I thought, laid down and slept. I slept so good, waking up about three-thirty. I had overslept. In six months, I have only missed one appointment, and been late to work two times. This really sucks. I set my alarm, but forgot to turn it on.

I really hope that there are no serious repercussions to this action.........

Change Number One

2011-01-04T12:37:00.003-07:00

Well the first change will be my job. I am not quite sure how this one will pan out, either way it'll be good.

I went into work yesterday and had an email requesting my 'updated' resume from my supervisor. Turns out they are considering hiring me from a customer satisfaction agent to a technical agent, big difference.

If they decide not to take the risk on me, I will become unemployed again, receiving unemployment benefits by the end of the month.

Either way will be a change, neither drastic in pay, but both sending me in different directions.

A New Year A New Start

2011-01-03T10:49:00.002-07:00

I don't know what this year will be for me, but I know last year was a year of growth.

I have learned to enjoy moments and learned what true friendship is about.

I have had a wonderful opportunity to learn to appreciate my significant other and truly get to know him. I love him and am so grateful that he walked back into my life.

I have been blessed to spend true quality time with my children and realize that time is important.

I look forward to the changes that will occur in my life this next year.

The only resolution is to make a goal to post on my blog more, so that I have a journal, a record of this year.

2010-09-14T21:15:00.002-06:00

I don't know where to start and don't know how to end. The greatest pain that a mother can feel is knowing her children hurt. I am so scared. That's all I can say. I love of all my children, my family and friends. I have an amazing support system, if I let them.

2010-06-04T18:16:00.002-06:00

I scrubbed the floor after they vomit all over the place. I wiped their butts through hundreds of diaper changes. I feed one with an eye dropper, while she was too sick to drink from a bottle. I held several tiny hands while they awoke from various surgeries. Bandaged and bruised I managed the best I could while I raised my 5 children.

ALONE.

Where was their dad? That's right "not his scheduled weekend". Surgeries I had he wouldn't take them. When they had owies or sickness he wouldn't take them. I struggled with behavioral problems....WHY? because I wouldn't bet them.

He has them 2 years, yes they don't act out, WHY? because if they do they are beat. I have pictures, doctor reports. I guess that's where I went wrong.

I am worried if he is on his own with the kids. I don't have to worry though. HIS MOTHER will take them in, that I can be grateful for. He won't have to do it ALONE.

2010-05-26T08:43:00.003-06:00

My eyes feel with tears as I kissed my babies good bye. My heart is so heavy. I think of my babies sleeping in a strangers house, not able to be held by mama, even calling her on the phone is forbidden. Our allowed time for the week is over. My one hour visit will not happen for another week. Why? The case worker has too many other cases and doesn't have the time to supervise the visit. I home m children know that I love them. I cry everyday.

I am working on acceptance. I know that I am at fault, but it hurts so bad. I almost wished I was beating them or high on drugs, it would be so much easier to accept it. I think back to the stuff that happened when I was a child....sheesh if the same people would have been involved....I would have been removed before the age of 5. How many times was I playing by the pool, even after I almost drowned? How many times was I outside unattended, even after a motorcycle fell on my back, or I fell off the 6 foot fence I loved climb?

Nobody is perfect, including me. I hope what they say is true. I hope that this will help us and not damage my children more. I hope that this will not be a strong memory in their eyes, and when they get older, they will not condemn me for this.

Walking through

2010-05-23T10:39:00.002-06:00

i am doing okay

Last night I went to Deeksha and was overwhelmed with emotion. I will be walking through a lot of moments like that. I hate though, people seeing my pain. Its hard for me to be real. I never used to cry walking down the street.

Have you ever just stood? Still, I mean? Taking in deep breathes and finding words to describe everything you feel? Feeling not emotionally but physically.

I stood yesterday, feeling as though I was at the end of the world. The crisp breeze was enough where I wished I had a jacket. I pulled my hair back and tied it in a bun. The loose strands whipped across my face. I took a breathe in expanding my lungs and exhaled slowly. Truly grasping and being one in the moment.

Brings us to the 2nd commandment. Stay in the moment, now.

Namaste

God is everything or he his nothing!

2010-05-22T02:03:00.002-06:00

So one of the benefits to not having my kids around right now, is I can read and meditate more.

I found a book I haven't read in a while. It's kind of one of those self help novels. It was funny and sort of fate that I read that today.

After court Thursday, I was numb. Honestly I felt as if a knife was thrust inside of me and someone kept twisting the pain. I told my boyfriend that I felt like building walls up to protect me. Emotional pain is worst than physical, at least I think so.

I was reading this book that I found. The name of the book is "GOD ON A HARLEY" I love it. It's about a women who has shut of GOD and is trying to deal with life. God appears as a Harley-Davidson biker, long hair and all, named "Joe."

She first questions if he GOD. I love his response, "I'm all that is good and kind and strong in the universe." I am the energy that makes seeds turn into flowers and flowers turn their lovely faces to the sun. Though I may be quiet and subtle, my presence is not to be underestimated. I am you and you are me. If you want to call me 'GOD,' that's fine with me If you're more comfortable with a different name, tat's find too."

I got separated from my center over a week ago. I forgot that I have a creator that loves me and has no expectations that I am anyone but the best I can be.

I was starting to put up walls so I wouldn't get hurt anymore. "Joe" asks the women to pretty much let go of "organized" religion ancient teachings and open her mind to personal commandments. The 1st commandment was to not build walls, and learn them to transcend you. The women states that she likes her walls and they keep her safe, just as the purpose for why I started my walls. "Joe" reminds her that as long as the walls are up, she also keeps the fear in. I needed to be reminded of the latter.

Walls are now done.

I may get emotional, but it's okay.

I'll write about the second one tomorrow.

However I am going to start the gratitude lists he suggests. I am going to every day write 3 things I am grateful for, trying to not repeat anything.

1-I am grateful to have wonderful friends and family who accept me for who I am, the good and bad.

2-I am grateful my creator also created sheep. I felt inner peace, seeing the young lambs frolic in the fields.

3-I am grateful for music. A source of release, as the beat moves you.

Namaste.

Deeksha.....what?

2010-05-21T12:10:00.002-06:00

Okay...so life as we know it has hit a pitfall, where I have a choice...

How I view and look at things. I have recently discovered Deeksha. It, for me is an incredible meditation. I have blessed to have friends that enjoy it as well.

I am okay. Right now, I get an opportunity to focus on me. I get to explore levels of meditation, in ways I never could before.

I cry, I feel, I am one with everything around me. The sun still rises, and the moon visits every night. Without pain, there would be little growth.

I have searched for something I never would find

I have reached to the point where I had ceased to exist

I never have been compliant

All ends now.

No longer am I afraid of what others may say, whom may judge.

My creator is all or is nothing,

I no longer choose where to allow the flow in my life.

Namaste.

why and where i am

2010-05-20T16:05:00.002-06:00

I think I ought to start writing again.....I don't know.

At this point I am indifferent to life or circumstances.

How I feel and where I am are two different places.

I am hurt and pissed off at words and actions of people in my life. Not that I don't take full responsibility for actions and choices I have made.

I was asked to remember my teenage years and how I was.........I prefer not too.....I been through the therapy and relived it already.

I never claimed to be perfect, but to make me feel like a heel of a person?

I want to run or numb the pain. My head spins and people side step around me. Let the shit hit the fan....I heard somewhere that open wounds heal faster. I am at that point pour all the damn salt in and let me clean them out and begin to heal.

Breathe in.

Breathe out.

Become aware.

I am okay, for now and this moment. All I can do is live life TODAY, and in the moment. Namaste.

Magnifying Life

2010-02-22T21:30:00.003-07:00

Okay. I admit it, I am not perfect. My hair is graying, my hips have widened, i have bags under my eyes. My lips are cracked and I bite my nails. So what?

My house is 89.9% going to be a disaster if you "pop" in unannounced.....i work 2 jobs, i have a life, and i have too many kids the "assist" in the chores. My laundry has mass produced in a way that is unexplainable, my kids don't always get a traditional meal. We watch too much tv and i forget to wash behind the kids ears sometimes......

What you don't know......

Often we're all found snuggling on the big bed watching movies and wrestling. Sometimes i let the girls do my hair, and i go out in public like so. There isn't any cobwebs hanging from the ceiling and my drawers are neat and tidy.....unless the girls messed them up. We dress up in my heels and turn the radio up and sing/dance around the house....i'll cut their sandwich into shapes with cookie cutters....they fix dinner.....so what it's crackers and frosting......once in a while that's good.....we rush and race to see who can clean the most.....we give kisses and even give eskimo kisses and butterfly kisses...my favorite of all is the beautiful singing that i hear from my girls.......

What would we see if we looked at your life magnified?

Its been a Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day!

2010-02-16T20:33:00.002-07:00

Okay more of nightish/dayish moment but still it's been a Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day!

I laid down on my sliver of a bed that I sharing with my girls,to get some needed shut eye about 3 am this morning. My daughter rolls over and asks the time...."Leave me alone....I've had a bad night."

Let me take you back to Sunday night.....yes you have my blessing to laugh, scoff and cry along side of me.....

I went over Sunday evening to visit with a friend. I was engaged in conversation and not realizing it shut my keys in my car, making sure I locked the car first.

The lock smith comes, and I realize that I left my ways of payment at my home.....20 minutes away....so my friend graciously lends me the funds and I pay the service.

Monday night.....

I had promised the above mentioned friend I would return the monies Monday night. After getting off my 10 p.m. shift, I ran a couple of errands before heading out to bring the money.
I make a pit stop to get a drink and pay my phone bill. My over excitement of paying bills leads me to locking and shutting the car door, with my keys in the ignition..........

Luckily this time, I am in a setting where friends live and I am able after some time to get a couple to help unlock the car.

However somewhere in the mixed my cellphone disappears....vanishes into the night.

Giving up the search somewhat defeated and deflated, I head home.

Think it over right? LOL!

I get pulled over, my headlight is out. The officer was pretty cool, didn't give me a fix it ticket, just warned me to get it fixed, and sent me on my way.

I get home and go to crawl into my bed feeling like the walking dead...........only to try and scoop up one of my girls to make some room for me and she had soaked the bed.

Too tired to deal with waking all of the girls up, I round the other side of the bed and slip into the tiny sliver not being used....thanking grandma silently for plastic sheet over the mattress.

This morning...........

Rolling out of bed late this morning and one of the twins fighting daycare, I decide screw it. I'll go to work late and get a phone. On the way into the office to tell my bosses, (remember I lost my celphone, including numbers) Olivia throws the seat-belt at Sabrina's head. Sabrina has a cut and goose egg. Then a few minutes later she vomits. I keep her home not knowing the purpose behind the vomit.

All day the girls have run me ragged. I did allow them to destroy the bedroom while I took a hour or so nap.

And tonight I am attempting to do it again...........plus business taxes...............

I hope it turns out better.

F.E.A.R.

2010-02-15T20:33:00.003-07:00

This is an acronym that has been running through my head.

F**k (sensored for those who may be offended)
Everything
And
Run

or

Face
Everything
And
Recover

I use to act solely on the first version of this acronym. Lately my head taunts me with old behaviors of running, instead of facing. I like to escape confrontation. I really despise it and try to avoid it at all costs. Today I am walking through FEAR and I am surviving thus far.

I wish my problems were solved with pink heart cakes!

2010-02-11T19:33:00.002-07:00

Olivia this afternoon, became quite upset when asked to get in the car. She took off running, then decided to come back, because I was obviously teed-off. I put her in the car-seat and she commenced into tears.

Poor girl, but I had no clue what was wrong.

I produced pink heart cakes....she wouldn't look.....

Sabrina grabbed hers and ate it up. (She is the candy/sugar freak)

Olivia finally looked up. I handed her the heart. She took it and smiled and exclaimed her love of pink heart cakes. Alas all has been forgotten. I wish pink heart cakes could solve my problems.

I have no clue

2010-02-10T20:31:00.001-07:00

I forgot to blog a couple of days.....I really don't know what to say here.

Working two jobs, I don't have time for much.

Oh if you live in UT and you want to save $$$ on utilities let me know.

Monthly Resolutions

2010-02-04T19:19:00.002-07:00

February's monthly resolutions:

File Taxes
Clean out car
Get a working computer

Just so it's out there......oh and work my butt off, take care of kids, and complete every minuscule task the state requests......

Daily or Quad-weekly posting

2010-02-03T17:39:00.003-07:00

I told myself: Self you are going to write everyday on your blog that you work at the library. So I am.

I started out today nervous and apprehensive about a meeting with state peoples, parents and what had you. The reasoning....it seemed as if "everyone" wanted these big changes that I am not capable of comprehending right now. Perhaps down the road I can look at some of them, but not now.

The reality is....I have two very active little ones who are incredibly smart, a little too smart for their britches. For some reason I don't have the authoritive voice box or actions that kids take seriously. I'm glad....I don't want my kids to fear me.

The recommendation is therapy for the little ones....and myself. This could help, but it'll take time and I think we know all are on the same page.

Sometimes you gotta rest on you laurels

2010-02-02T21:36:00.001-07:00

I just have to breathe today.....

Then everything works out. The kids awake....the hours pass by.....I just breathe.

I know that life will pan out and I will be okay.

2010-02-01T19:25:00.002-07:00

I want to yell and scream and cry and stamp my feet. I want this just to be over. It's not. It's not going away quickly either. I get to continue everyday working my butt off for????? I don't get to enjoy my life. I am looking over what I do to find my mistakes before neighbors, media or the state does.

I am having a hard time not freaking out on my babies and blaming them for this horrible domino affect. I remain loving and compassionate....meanwhile I want to explode at them and blame them.

I feel guilt, shame, embarrassment, tired, anger, sadness, my head is swirling and I am not quite sure how to let it all out. What is proper, what will work? I even have to be careful what I write, for fear they wrong person will read it and POOF! they're gone again.

I promise I will not intentionally harm my children.....if I ever felt like I would I would call someone.

Then I think the random calls I've made the last couple of months.....what were they?

How can I work, if I never know when I will cry?

I really don't know what to do......I am going to apply for a full admin job at my work. I hope I get it....maybe

it's been a long time.....

2010-02-01T17:40:00.002-07:00

If you read this....I'm sorry....I am using this as a venting way to track feelings and emotions of what I am going through.

To catch you up to date click on this:

http://myrnalayton.blogspot.com/

It'll bring you back to where I am.......sort of............this is just a start. I think it'll be healthy to write it out, but it won't be very pretty....right now anyway.

I want to smile and nod and pretend everything is okay, but I can't as of yet.

Mousey Morning

2009-10-19T20:06:00.002-06:00

So this morning I discovered two things:

A. We have a mouse problem

B. I am a little more frightened of mice, then I thought

I got into work this morning, printed something off my printer. I noticed there was something a little yellow on the paper. That's weird, I thought, so I pulled out the printer paper drawer only to discover, we have mice, and they had left evidence there. I pulled the drawer completely out, threw out the pooped and peed on paper, and continued on about my day.

An hour later I was trying to print something. The printer had an error on it saying paper jam. I opened the tray....screamed.....jumped out of my office and skin....

The paper had started to lift, so the mouse couldn't run out when I opened the drawer.....

Needless to say...my boss caught rid of it and I have several mouse traps in my office and in the break room.

Anyone want to open the office for me tomorrow?

A flash back

2009-08-17T10:05:00.002-06:00

I was a horrible older sister.

I tricked my siblings a lot.

I was reading a blog my sister did regarding a prank her husband pulled on my mother when visiting and it refreshed my memory.......

We lived in Vancouver, BC. Being active in the LDS church, my parents liked to make the trek down to Seattle, WA to go to the temple. It was about a 3 hr drive, making the trip almost an all day activity.

I remember I was about 13 yrs old. My parents wanted me to watch my younger siblings. I was 13 and really didn't want to. I wasn't the happiest camper when I was awoken in the wee hours of the morning on Saturday, I was told they were leaving....

Morning came and I grudgingly handed out bowls of cereal and tried to tune our none cable TV to cartoons....

Nancy was about four years old and at that age very eccentric? with her emotions. She kept asking me where mom and dad was. "Gone!" was my one worded response. This answer did not satisfy her. She kept on bugging me. I glared down at her and told her mom and dad had died and I had to be the new mom.

Nancy went into a fit of hysterics.....needless to say I learned if I wanted an easier time babysitting....never, ever tell the child her parents had died.......

I'm back

2009-08-17T10:04:00.002-06:00

When through some stuff.....maybe I'll write about it, but I still have raw wounds.......

How to Scare Your Mom.....

2009-06-25T14:07:00.002-06:00

Step 1: Get in the shower.

Step 2: While running the water, cough as if you are choking

Step 3: Lie down in the tub face down, and don't move or speak

Step 4: Don't answer your mother when she calls you, after hearing you
choke, you can't even giggle.

Step 5: Stay perfectly still even when you mother rips open the shower
curtain and finds you lying face down in the tub with the shower
going.

Step 6: Sharply lift your end when your mother grabs you in a panic and
smile and say, "Gotcha!"

No this didn't happen to me, but it did to a close friend with her 12 yr son. She told me the story, still in a little of a panic and I cracked up laughing so hard. I am quite sure that my mother is glad that I never thought of this!!!!!

Child's Play...Should I have concerns?

2009-06-25T13:43:00.002-06:00

I was quite irritated by the twins curiosity in all the rooms but their own, so I had them come and play next to me in the living room. Sabrina was the doctor and had the doctor kit out. Olivia was not sure what to do, so I suggested that she be the mom, taking her sick child in to the doctor. Olivia climbed up on couch and sat there looking at the baby doll.

I suggested that she tell Dr. Sabrina, what was wrong with her baby. She looks up at me and looks over at Dr. Sabrina ands calmly almost morbidly spurts out, "The baby's dead."

My friend and I look at each other and burst out laughing.....it was so unexpected from such a little girl. Now the morning after, I wonder if I should have any concerns...........

Olivia, sorry O-LEEEE and the cute/bizarre things she does!

2009-06-25T09:59:00.002-06:00

Olivia is now called O-LEEEE. I used to spell her nickname Ollie, but I think that the O-LEEEE, really expresses her way of saying it. On the way home from work yesterday, the back seat conversation went something like this:

Sabrina: Olwiva

Olivia: Not Olwiva, I O-LEEEE.

Sabrina: Olia

Olivia: Not Olia, I O-LEEEE. Say it, O

Sabrina: O

Olivia: now LEEEE

Sabrina: Lee

Olivia: O-LEEE!

Sabrina: Olia.

Olivia: M-Om, him not saying O-LEEE.

I think Olivia has taken to Jonathan's method. Example of the conversation the night before:

Sabrina: Pa-sic-able

Jonathan: Huh?

Sabrina: Pa-sic-able (this time pointing to the freezer)

Me: I think she wants a POP-SIC-LE.

Jonathan: Sabrina say Popsicle.

Sabrina: Pa-sic-able

Jonathan: Say pop.

Sabrina: Pop

Jonathan: now say sic.

Sabrina: Sic

Jonathan: cull

Sabrina: cull

Jonathan: Popsicle

Sabrina: Pa-sic-able

Reminds me of the TABOR story.......anyway....she'll get it, specially with the great patience of Daddy and O-LEEEE!

Some Memories of Patrick

2009-06-25T03:42:00.002-06:00

After reading m mother's blog and "meeting" Patrick's girlfriend online, I've been thinking about him (Patrick) a lot. I am the oldest one in my family, and there is quite a generation gap between him and I.

Patrick was my buddy when he was about the twins age. I was home schooled and tended him while my parents worked. When I think back to those years, and about Patrick, the show "Kids say the darnest things" come into mind. Patrick is someone who speaks his mind.

I took him with me when he was about 3 or 4 years old to a garage sale. The lady running the garage sell happened to be smoking. Patches (Patrick's nickname back then), pinched his nose, and cleared his throat. Getting no response he cleared his throat louder. The lady looked at him and he says, "Excuse me, but some of us have to breathe down here!". Needless to say, we didn't get anything and left quickly after that.

Another time, I took him to a neighbors house. He was young about 3, and everyone around him was pregnant. This lady we were visiting wasn't, but due to her size, Patches asked her, "Are you having a baby?" Of course she wasn't, and obviously not the shiniest pebble on the beach, because she answered, "No, why would you think that?". Even back than before having my own children I knew that was not the question to ask after someone thought you were pregnant. I mean seriously, I as an adult couldn't answer that one without digging some kind of hole.

Patches responded in an honest 3/4 year old logic, "Because you're getting kind of fat!" Needless to say that put a sword in our neighborly friendship.

This next one, is about Patches first girlfriend and her name was Chelsea. She was this adorable little girl who lived up the street. She would come and ring the doorbell to see if Patches could come and play. No at this time in his life little girls were not an interest. Now if she had been a boy or better yet a Power Ranger or Ninja Turtle, he'd be all on it! Instead he'd poke his head throw the railing at the top of the stairs and whisper yell, "Tell her I'm not here." I think this is funny because he was only about 3 maybe 4 at the time.

One more tail for now, this one more embarrasses me, but it's funny and about Patches. I had a bunch of mixed youth (boys and girls) from the church over for some kind of planning activity. I was about 14 years old at the time. Patches thought it would be great to give everyone a "present". He went into the bathroom and came out with "presents", preceding to hand everyone a unused feminine pad. I still remember the embarrassment I felt as I quickly collected everyone's "presents" and cried or wailed to my mother.................

Birthday Remembrances

2009-06-19T13:19:00.002-06:00

I have a brother and a sister who share a birthday month. I thought I'd share with them the memories I have of when they were born.

I was about 11 and I realized my mom (who is one of the thinnest people I know), was getting a little belly. I remember walking into the bathroom, while she was in the tub and telling her so. Aren't kids the greatest for personal space???? She blew it off, but I knew, I knew I knew. By this time another sibling was definitely a new toy for me, because at 11 years old I was far too old for dolls and such, but I could have fun with a real live baby.

I remember that my dad was going to be getting his first PC and had to delay the acquisition, do to the new addition. I want to hope that it's a coincident, but I know my dad spent a few hours coming up with Patrick Conrad's name so the initials were PC. That was his joke after Patrick was born.

I remember when Patrick was 3, he loved to tag along with me. I would take him mile or more bike rides and we'd picnic in Minnekhada.

****************************************************************
When Nancy was born, I was in 2nd grade. I had the most awesome teacher. We were building our reading dragon, and we were having our reading party for those that had gotten so many books read. I was a "special" child, very much ADHD at that age. My teacher and I that year had a special relationship. She had told me that if my sibling was born on the first day of summer, I could have two pieces of cake!!!!!

I never prayed harder.....but the 21st of June came and went, no sibling....

I was so disappointed. She did come on the 22nd, but I was most certain that I wouldn't get that 2nd piece of cake. I was excited to see her, but I had that disappointment too.

I had an awesome teacher, she said the 22nd was close enough. I got to have two pieces of cake!

Nancy, thank you for coming so close to the 21st of June! You made my day.....

(By the way...Jonathan's B-day is the 15th...)

I wish....

2009-06-19T13:02:00.002-06:00

Sometime I wish that I had the incredible writing power on my blog that both my sisters have. My sister Abra, can write the most touching things. My other sister Nancy, dedicates much time and effort recording details of her days. I am so glad that they do, because they give me a chance to glimpse inside their lives for a minute. I miss them. I get upset when I realize how far away my nieces and nephews are, and wonder if the will ever want to know their Aunt. (I know Rachel will be back in another year or so, but still.)

I remember growing up and having such an extended family around. I use to look forward to playing with several generations of cousins and having such a blast. I remember playing several imagination games with Maryanne and Myron. I remember making up dance routines with Jenna and Holly.

I am spending a lot of time with my new sister-in-law, but sometimes it makes me miss my own sisters. Nancy, when you get back we need to schedule bi-monthly play dates for the girls and make a lunch to share, Josie too of course.

Sometimes I wish we lived closer........I guess I just need to get Internet fixed at home and figure out my web cam and get going with Skype.

Update

2009-06-17T08:16:00.002-06:00

This last few days have been so busy for me, I just want to sleep.

Saturday, I went to a blogger luncheon, hosted by Kristina. It was nice to get out of the house, however I think next time, I'll try harder to find a sitter!

Later on that evening, I had the opportunity to go with my husband, the twins, Naunie, Josie, and my grandparents to the open house at Oquirrh Temple. I choose the wrong shoes, and thankfully Naunie and Josie were there to help with the twins! It was beautiful. I might try and go another time, with better shoes and no twins........

Sunday, Jonathan and I made a quick trip to Rancho Cucamunga. He had to do some work for his brother there. It was a really quick trip, with very little sleep.

I'll blog more later........

Family Prayer

2009-06-12T15:01:00.003-06:00

I often keep a couple copies of the Friend in my car for entertainment for my small children. A few days ago I glanced back and looked at Olivia. She was sitting so nicely, her head was bowed and her arms folded, and her lips where moving with quiet words, I couldn't quite make out.

She must of felt my glance, because she lifted up the Friend and pointed to the family kneeling together and said, "Shhhh...I family pray!"

I am so glad that she loves to pray.

Dear Kelline.....

2009-06-11T13:08:00.002-06:00

I know if you are a reader of my blog, you know that I am far from receiving the mother of the year award. I promise that I don't really beat my children and I try to neglect them as little as possible.

Since, I do have a small herd of children, I often get asked how I do it, and survive.

First let me say, warning future herders of children, wear and tear does occur, lost of voice may happen, sags appear in the oddest places and grey hairs are just a glimpse of the job description. There are many rewards, but from what I have been told by past herders, the true reward is having your child call you after having their own herd and apologizing and telling you, you were right.

(Mom, I am so sorry and I love you and you were right most of the time!)

I had 3 children of mine in 3 years and then 6 years later had twins. Shortly after that I inherited a teenager. My total 6. We are out numbered!!!

My girlfriend asked me when she was over this past weekend how I have done it. This got me thinking.......

Breathe.....Count.....and ask does it really matter?

How important is it that Sabrina puts on "real" clothes verses the "princess" outfit she created? How funny Olivia's picture look with various bits of her hair chopped will be when I show them to her friends in 12 years! Who is the one that will be sad he broke his toys when he threw a fit?

I have the whatever attitude now. Maybe it's because I am getting older, maybe it's because I really am out numbered and I have just opt to giving in. I personally think that when its the big stuff, I'll be there and more aware, because I have not wasted unneeded energy on whether or not pink hearts on grey pants matches with a blue star and red/white stripped shirt.

Who are you? And Who is she?

2009-06-09T10:59:00.002-06:00

It's funny how kids learn to play games at such a young age....

Olivia and Sabrina, although twins are not identical, however they have learned how to confuse people just the same.

Ask Olivia her name. Most occasions she responds with with "Olie" or "O-wiv-ia" and the occasional "Sissy". The last couple of days though has been "Sa-Been-A!" and then points to the real "Sabrina" and says "he "O-wiv-ia". Now they don't fool me, but a girlfriend of mine had come over and was helping get them ready for bed. She hasn't seen them for about a year, since she lived out of town. She came out and asked which was which and I told her Olivia was taller and dark brown eyes. I went and checked on them and Olivia was insisting that she was "Sa-Been-A!"

It was quite comical!

"Life is like a box of Chocolate....You never know what your gonna get!"

2009-06-03T08:34:00.002-06:00

Life has been busy for me, hectic busy, almost chaotic busy, but not quite.

Rosie is at home finding out the her mother says what she means. She was suppose to clean the kitchen floor Monday, and I guess she did, in her eyes. However in my eyes it was not done. So last night I told her that if it wasn't done right, meaning all the floor swept (including the side of the refrigerator), toys picked up and mopped with bleach, not dish soap, then she would not be able to go to Hollywood Connection, which is an indoor amusement park, and where the entire school is going today. Needless to say she is home and not going to the amusement park and I yet again this year, have won the award for the most hated mom of the year!!!!!!!! (Feel free to congratulate me)

The Temple Celebration was amazing. Over 7000 youth performed in various dances and songs. I wish all of you could have seen it! Rosie did wonderful, and she didn't fall once!

I had a tooth pulled Friday, that is still killing me and I also broke my toe last week. I am surviving, but in pain.

Also the car accident claim November, where the young driver hit our family, turning left from a stop sign, has been denied payment from her insurance. This means I meet with the attorneys and we'll be going to court in a couple of months.

Jonathan has been laid off, but he's been keeping busy helping people out with backhoe/bobcat work. He wants a job, but there is almost no construction jobs open in Utah.

Other than all that, life is good, we haven't lost one the twins for a couple of weeks now!

Temple Celebration

2009-05-29T14:27:00.002-06:00

What I have learned....

The temple celebration will be held at the conference center downtown SLC, UT.

It will be awesome, dances from all generations and countries performed by various stakes from across the South Salt Lake Valley.

It starts at 7 p.m. and you have to have a ticket to get in. This has the availability to be broadcasted to any Stake Center in North America, however only if the Stakes want to broadcast it.

It will be in most of the South Valley Salt Lake Stake Centers, and various throughout the countries.

Nancy, do you know if you will get this feed via Internet? It is the same feed that all the broadcasts are sent out on? If so can you post a link on my comments?

My kids are smarter then your kids, and now my hair is grey!

2009-05-29T09:55:00.002-06:00

Yesterday I got a phone call from my dear sweet husband.....

"You know what one of your daughters did?"
(ever notice how when children do something questionable a "y" is added to the our?)

"Have no clue, but I'm sure you'll tell me."

"I was busy putting away the groceries and I put the chain across the (outside) door so the girls wouldn't get out. I went to go check on them and Olivia got outside. She moved a chair, undid the chain, and moved the chair again, to go outside."

"I have smart children what can I say?"

See, I know that there reaches an age where, no lock, threats or anything works....and we are there. I went through this already 6 years ago with the boys. I went through nights, where I had to move the couch in front of the door and sleep on it, to insure no escapees. I even had to have some one install the key dead bolt locks, to keep them in.

At least this time, I have someone to help ease my frustrations. My children are so smart, a little too smart at times. They know how to help themselves to fridge. Most parents wouldn't mind, but when you pull out the cheese and there's a bite mark in it, or the cookie dough has been dug into with 3-yr old little fingers, it's a little discouraging. I know this stage will pass, but I am very grateful that I am done raising children.

This past weekend we were at a family reunion on Jonathan's side. I got to hold a little baby, little compared to my babies. I started getting a wee-bit baby hungry. Then an officer rolled by in a car. He asked who were the parents of the two girls by the park sign. I looked and I sadly had to raise my hand. They were okay, the officer just wanted to make sure that they had parents here, since they weren't playing with other children. I snuggled the baby in my arms and my baby hungriness left real quick. I love my kids. As I am finishing the last of the potty training and trying to steer my children towards preparing for kindergarten, I am finding a sense of relief. I'll have grand babies soon enough that I can enjoy and then turn over to their parents.

(CHRISSY & ROSIE that's no sooner then 6 years for CHRISSY & 9 years for ROSIE!)

Okay enough rambling........till the next time!

So those shocking pet collars....do they make them for kids?

2009-05-21T08:38:00.003-06:00

I sound like a horrible mother, but seriously haven't you ever thought about a tying a child on a leash in the back yard, investing in a dog run for your kid, or even yet putting those shocking pet collars on your kids neck with the "invisible" fence????

Since we have officially moved into this house, I have lost the twins I don't how many times....

The first time was scary.

Jonathan was moving boxes, and Rosie had just left for dance practice. I was unpacking and checking on the girls. Sabrina was missing. I assumed she had followed Jonathan upstairs for another load, so I didn't worry too much. After all the girls had been "helping" him earlier. Since it was about 9:00 p.m., I put a movie on for Olivia, got her laid down, and when Jonathan came down with the load, I asked him to bring Sabrina in to lay down too. He then informed me he didn't have her. We searched two apartments and started on the yard. I called my sister-in-law and her family and we screamed and searched. We had about 8 people looking for her. No sign anywhere.

The panic rose real fast. I called 911. At this point she had not been visible seen for about 20 minutes. 20 minutes means she could be almost in Provo by now. The police was on there way. My niece Annie found her about the same time the police showed up. This neighbor saw her walking in front of the house and picked her up. Then drove up to the church (about two blocks away)!!!! I was relived but started getting angry as the lady continued to tell the officer she had my daughter for over an hour and nobody was calling a child's name or looking for her.

Breathe....hug your child, be thankful you found her, and try not to punch the lady accusing you of poor parenting.......

After all how many of you out there with multiple children have NEVER lost a kid for 20 minutes or so.....

Bringing us to this Tuesday.....

We (Sabrina, Olivia, and I) were cleaning the playroom. We were excited, because I had just gotten containers to sort the toys, and we were having fun cleaning. Olivia asked to go to the bathroom, and with permission off she went! Sabrina and I were still sorting. It seemed an awful long time and no Olivia. I called her name, but no answer. I started searching frantically, but no Olivia. I swear I didn't pass the playroom and go outside, but I couldn't be 100% sure. Rosie and I searched the two sets of bunk beds, 4 closets, Rosie's bed. No Olivia. Desperately, I called my sister-in-law, and again her family took to the search. I was scared, again. I called 911. Again I told them that Olivia was missing. About 8 police showed up. One officer went into the house and we searched room by room. By this time Olivia had been missing over 40 minutes. I was a wreck. I checked my small walk in closet, and I couldn't see her. The officer shining his flashlight along the floor of the closet, spotted her white stocking feet. This little angel? of mine had hid in my graduation gown, which being close the front of my closet, when I pushed my clothes back to search for her was out of my line of vision. Luckily the officer was outside the closet shining the flashlight in, so he could see her!

I am quite sure that the city of Herriman are going to start to link these disappearances together and show up with child protective services and hand me the worst mother of the year award!

Until then....invisible fencing is humane....right?

It's been too long....

2009-05-19T08:39:00.002-06:00

I haven't been blogging....been thinking about it, but....

I don't know if I am depressed or stressed or what. I know I am tired. I know I have OCD. This move is killing me. Jonathan just is grabbing everything in bags and bringing it down to our new place. Anyone who has seen me move knows I pack a month or two before and label the boxes and move. This is going to fast and I can't keep up and ugh!!!!!

I am trying to organize everything, but I'm so tired.

I'll be back later this week with pictures of the house......

At least the playroom is cleaned, till tonight anyway.

A Scare This Weekend and Rosie's News

2009-05-04T07:59:00.002-06:00

Some of you may or may not be aware that I suffer from migraines. I have had them for years. Friday, I could no longer take the pain and went to the hospital for a shot. Unfortunately that shot didn't work and they had to give me something a little stronger. I came home and slept it off and awoke Saturday with a full blown migraine, even after my husband allowed me two EXTRA hours of sleep. He took me back to the hospital and they gave me an IV of something, that caused me to sleep while there, and then again at home. Around 6 p.m. I came too. My headache was almost gone, however both my husband and I noticed a strange bump on my hand just below where the IV was. I put an ice pack on it and went back to sleep. I woke up Sunday and noticed the bump had gone down some and proceeded to get ready for church. I barely hit my arm and a weird pain emanated. I looked down to see that my wrist and hand were considerably larger than they should have been. We went back to the hospital, where we found out that I have a blood clot in my arm. I am taken aspirin to hopefully thin out the blood. Let's cross our fingers!

As for Rosie's news......

Rosie will be performing in the Temple Celebration on May 30th. This will be broadcast to all stake centers in North America. There will also be DVD's available for sale afterwards. It starts at 7:00 p.m. that night. I know that she along with other youth in our stake have put HOURS of practice into this performance.

Miss Popularity? (Yes Finally!)

2009-05-01T08:56:00.003-06:00

Why must I be so popular?

I love my kids and all, and I am not complaining, okay I am, but seriously, yesterday, Olivia cried, well screamed, through the rush hour traffic, because, well she couldn't sit directly behind me! (I know I totally over killed comma's)

It wouldn't be so bad, but we have an hour drive or so! I tried to convince her that sitting behind Rosie was just as fun, because I could see her pretty brown eyes, but she wouldn't go for it. One more year or so and then the cognitive reasoning kicks in some and they'll start to comprehend taking turns.

until then.....................................

What I do?

2009-04-30T08:14:00.007-06:00

I am the office manager for a company that manufactures pipette tips. See the picture above. Pipette tips go on to pipettes, like the ones below.

When I first applied for the job, I didn't even know that they existed, but I have come to find out how much is out there that we didn't know about. Some plastic junky thing is being made for an ideal purpose, and making someone some money. I just invoiced someone over $30,000, for these plastic tips*. I am still stunned.

*We did ship 9 pallets of boxes full of these tips.

How can I put it into words?

2009-04-28T08:34:00.002-06:00

For those of you that have been reading my blog, you know that I have been struggling with my spouse and my 12-yr old. I don't go into too much detail, because, quite frankly, it's my business. I blog about my issues in general, so I can either come up with my own solutions or read your comments and try out others suggestions.

I feel inside, like I am walking through the eye of a storm. It's quite, almost peaceful, but I am still nervous looking out in that horizon. I know I should relax, and enjoy these "happy" days, but I feel on edge. I am tired, I wish I could hibernate like the bears for the winter.

I still have to live life, take care of the house, family, etc. For some reason, I just last night and today, feel like I am going through the motions, with no emotions. That Kleenex commercial pops into my head. You know the one? Touch-Touch-Touch-Touch-Touch-FEEL. I hope I get to feel today.

Reflective Flashback

2009-04-27T08:17:00.003-06:00

I like to think that I was a free spirited child growing up. Truth be told, I am surprised that I saw my next birthday. My mom has gray hair, and I can testify that most of those are from me. Not that I am proud of it, but they remind me how much my parents loved me and taught me about unconditional love. I think that is the key to parenting. Loving your children NO MATTER WHAT!

From a small age I was independent. Always wanting it my way. I can imagine the patience of my mother as she watched me struggle to get on this most embarrassing outfits....the embarrassment she felt as a young mother who had inherited the child with the worst fashion sense on the planet! A child who finally had to have her hair chopped like a boy because it "touched her ears". The love she had when she taught me how to read at a young age and allow me to explore the world around me. I think of the fear that rose through her body as she panickly saw me dripping wet after nearly drowning in the pool, as she picked up the motor cycle on top of my squashed little body, as she cleaned my scrapes and bruises from falling out of trees, off fences, whatever else I could climb.

Such patience my parents both showed. Imagine getting their first of many phone calls, saying I was in trouble, again. I lied a lot, stole a little, made life difficult for my younger siblings, however whenever I needed my mom and dad, no matter how much I had disregarded them, they were there.

Now that I am a parent, and I experience "normal" behaviors with my children, the difficulties with my husband, the gray begins to show. I remember how I was so selfish as a child, to realize I affected so many people by my behavior. I hope that when my daughter begins to show signs of heavy graying, she'll be able to reflect back and be thankful that her parents showed her unconditional love.

Mom, Dad, I know I can never redo the past, but I can thank you for it. I truly appreciate and can see the love you showed me through everything. You have taught me unconditional love, and because of that, I can show my children, your grandchildren what that is. My job as a parent is to love them no matter what their fashion sense is, attitude is, behavior is.

Thank you!

Help! Maybe this will open eyes?

2009-04-24T11:50:00.002-06:00

Okay, this isn't a give away, yet, but I need some help! I need comments.

I would like my friends and family, new parents, old parents, whatever, to help me out. If you have a story regarding a young teen who stole, lied or broke a rule, I wanna hear!

Just leave a comment, brief description of the rule broken, and if the child has turned out fairly functioning, or if they are locked up.

I want to test my synopsis of just because children break parental rules growing up, they don't turn into harden criminals.

Please help me show my husband, my kids are normal, that the odds are they probably will not be holding banks up or randomly shooting up Walmart or something.

There is Hope for Every Soul That's Lost

2009-04-24T08:55:00.002-06:00

Have you ever walked along two unstable objects and felt that twinge of possibly splitting in two?

That's how I feel.

I have hope though. Nothing happens without reason and I am eagerly awaiting to see my life's lesson through all of this. I just hope my hair doesn't turn completely gray and I am able to walk away with some nails on my finger tips..........

War what is it good for, absolutly NOTHING

2009-04-23T09:34:00.004-06:00

I tired of being a mediator. I am tired of be asked to side with someone. I am just T-I-R-E-D!!!!

Life comes in all angles and sometimes you feel like your in a row boat with no oars, in the middle of a storm at sea. Pretty much you are screwed, anyway you look at it. Jumping into the sea sometimes seems easier then hanging on for dear life and riding the waves out.

I claim to be a key maker in my life, for those that don't know what that is check out this former blog posting. I am trying piece together bits of things that I am struggling with and put together a road map that last night was shredded into pieces.

I know that I am a mother first and all life's tribulations and pleasures for me have to be set aside, for my children.

More later....let me find some tape........

Awards Dinner

2009-04-17T08:09:00.002-06:00

Last night was my night, so to say.

I have been working with a wonderful non-profit organization called People Helping People, located in Salt Lake City. They mainly work with women in the community and teach very valuable job hunting tools.

They take an in depth look at your hard and soft skills, and then help compile a wonderful Resume. You are teamed up with volunteers in the community who are successful employees and teach you how to get a job that pays.

I have completed four months of workshops, and I have completed the third level, and last night was the awards dinner where I was recognized for all the time that I have put in and all the hard work I have done.

Some of the stuff I learned are duh moments, but for some reason when someone puts everything together it sticks with you.

I highly recommend this program to anyone who is a women seeking to make enough money to support their family.

Check their website out :http://www.phputah.org/

White Flags????

2009-04-16T08:09:00.004-06:00

First off I must apologize to anyone I may have come across in my life between the ages of 9 and 18. I owe a huge debt to my mother who must have had to deal with this:lovely spirit, when approaching me with some life or death task, like washing the dishes after supper. I think my hair has gotten even grayer this last day or two. At work yesterday after I experienced a near death brush with the hormone raising twelve year old, I pondered and concocted different counter techniques to shield myself from the blows. I pull up and wait at the doors of the school, wondering what demon like child would enter my car. Much to my surprise and shock this is what I saw emerge from the heavy metal doors:

She skipped into her seat, with an angelic smiles and bursts into a bubble tale of the happenings of the day. I listened with my jaw dropped in awe. Was this the same demon possessed child I forced to go to school? Was there an exorcism performed, I was not aware of? Not only did she have a good day she was looking forward to the nights activities at the church. No talk of moving, or negatives at our house.

She went to Young Womens and her dance preparation and came home in the same pleasant mood.

So I have stripped myself of the battle gear, for right now, because I know my daughter, love my daughter, but our battles our just beginning!

It's War Baby

2009-04-15T10:47:00.002-06:00

I strap my helmet onto my head, after making sure that the bullet proof vest is in place. I prepare to pull up my protective shield as I enter the uncharted waters. I have heard rumors about other entering the rapids and eventually finding their way out, but that is a long time for me to see at this point. I hear slamming and growling and I see the glaring eyes in the distance. Do I dare approach?

No I'm not preparing for some war in the jungle, just a stand off between parent and twelve year old.

I don't think she understands the person she up against. I am the queen of debate and the champion of dodge ball. I was the big sister and the rebellious child. I have plenty of ammunition in stock.

You ready? Cause there are no stops on this ride.

She is trying to convince me life is so hard and it would be so much better at her dads. She is tearing apart everything and making it sound pretty horrible.

Attack one, last night after 10 pm:

She hates getting up so early in the morning to get ready for school and help get the twins dressed.

Counter:

I let her sleep in till 15 minutes before we had to leave to get dressed, do her hair and what not....Didn't even need her assistance to get the girls dressed.

Attack:

She's sick and doesn't want to go to school.

Counter:

Okay, fine you can lay in my office all day, because you're tired of being left alone during the day.

Attack:

Refuses to wear a coat in pouring rain.

Counter:

Took her to school and called to make sure that she could stay in for recesses.

Attack:

Didn't want to get out of the car at school.

Counter:

Picked her up and carried her into the front office and told them she didn't want to get out of the car and made an appointment for her to see the school counselor today.

Bring it on.....I think tomorrow I may just wear some fugly outfit and show up to check on her at school....I think I'll make sure I let the twins do my hair.....

I am not allowing her to move in with her father, right now. It probably would be a little easier if I did, but I think she needs to put a little effort into our home and giving it a honest chance. I don't think her dad's place is any better, just different.

I am still tired...

2009-04-13T10:43:00.002-06:00

The alarm didn't go off this morning, but some how I still managed to get myself and the twins and hubby into the car by 7:15 (after waking up at 6:45). We are buying a new alarm clock tonight!

Life is still hectic and I am swimming through the rapids in a boat with paddles, but I feel as though I am not strong enough to paddle at times.

As I mentioned earlier the cat has had her kittens, pictures are to come. I am so glad that we as humans don't get pregnant as often or have as many in our litters as cats. I mean that would mean since Dec. we would have 8 babies under the age of one!!!!!

The twins are active. So active Jonathan and I have decided to find a dance class for them on Saturdays. Anyone that lives in the South end of the Valley (Herriman, Riverton, Draper, Sandy) and knows of a reasonably priced dance studio let me know.

The twins have the scare each other fake sleep thing going on. It's pretty comical except when your in the car and every 30 seconds, someone snores, then the "Roars" and then the other responds in a high pitch "you scared the crap outta me" scream, followed by joined fits of laughter, and then repeated until the car comes to a complete stop in front the destination.

I still need to take Sabrina in to get her immunity work done, however we do not see the ENT for 2 months!!!!

I still need to take Rosie in for her testing before this time next month.

I need to organize my house, hopefully the people downstairs move soon!!! (I like them, I just want to move and get it over with it).

I made my first small profits on Ebay, the next two months should tell more.

I had emergency work done on a molar and have to go back June 15th to finish up.

I found two more jobs I am applying for through the federal government, I also am still waiting to find out if I made the selection for an interview.

I found out I won't be done with PHP for another couple of months, which means I will still get an award or two on Apr 16, but I'll be invited to attend another awards dinner in 4 months....it's okay, but I was hoping to meet the deadline!

I never got my sitter this weekend, going to try for this up coming one....any offers?????

I need to get my visiting teaching set up this week.....

Easter!

2009-04-12T21:24:00.006-06:00

Yesterday we took the girls to the mall to see the Easter Bunny. However they were not the impressed until we met the Tomatoe Head. this guy was sooooo much cooler!

I love Sabrina's pose here! (We weren't allowed to take a photo of the Easter Bunny, we'll scan a copy on eventually....

We stopped for minute at the Merry go round in the mall.

Here are some easter pictures, I am tired, the cat had 4 babies, and it took about 2 hours to find them. Anyone want a kitty in 6 weeks??????

Oops!!!!!!!!!!

I can't find the pause button!!!

2009-04-07T13:40:00.002-06:00

Life has been so busy. I drop at the end of the day, only to find my alarm going off in the morning.

Jonathan and I are going to try our hand at selling on E-Bay, I've been reading and exploring with that, give me 6 months and I'll let you know how things are.

I also am applying for any position I can possibly do with the Federal Government. I really want to work there, and I hope one of my applications will be accepted.

I also am almost completed with People Helping People, well the area where they help me anyways! I have about 60 pages to complete by April 14th, to fully complete the program. This is really important to me, because I want to be part of the Women's Professional Network, and be able to one day mentor one of the women starting out in the program. On the 16th of April, I will attend an awards dinner and have to give a couple presentations about the program. Luckily I don't mind public speaking, so I am not stressing on this, yet.

I almost have Rosie fully registered to start school next year, however I still have to figure out when she can take her math placement test. I was informed she'll probably be taking algebra, not pre-algebra next year, but they want to officially test her first.

I also am cleaning up Jonathan's computer and installing some stuff, and I don't REALLY know what I'm doing, so that means, it takes longer.

I was going to slowly start spring cleaning, but found out we're moving to a bigger apartment, so I've put that on hold. The move is not that bad, but it still is work.....

Our Mama cat is pregnant, again...

Sabrina has to go up to primary children's for some immunity testing, but I don't when I'll have time to do this,

Although work is struggling, we are busier then ever and I can't keep my desk cleaned off.

I need a sitter for next Friday.

I need to decide if I am getting my Master's this year or not.

Jonathan is looking for a new job, and I have to help him.

Dinner is at 6:30......

There is no pause button.....

It's okay, I can only do what I can!

Last but not least.....for my niece Rachel and my cousin Mary.

2009-03-29T09:11:00.002-06:00

Ever since I've been ready about Rachel's love for horses, but not up close and personal, I have wanted to take pictures of this herd of horses. The problem is, they are on the east side of Bangeter Highway and I am always driving. I did it though, with Chrissy's assistance. For the horse lovers out there, this is just part of the horses I see almost on a daily basis.

Finally.....The Twins are THREE!!!!

2009-03-29T08:33:00.003-06:00

Hanging out with dad, eating!A princess cake for me?Olivia was a little more excited then Sabrina!

The girls are three. Olivia is so grown up now. I swear she turned three and she is going on five! She is potty trained, counting, singing, talking really well, sharing things, I am so amazed. Sabrina is growing up fast too, just not as quickly as Olivia. I think too, since she's a little smaller then Olivia, she gets treated like the baby more. I don't know, but I love them and I am a little sad to see them grow up. I am looking forward to the bizarre and strange adventures that they will take us on!

The girls at Disney on Ice!

2009-03-29T08:17:00.004-06:00

Sabrina intently watching....Mommy hating her picture taken when she doesn't know!!!!!!

Overly excited Olivia!

Sisters, Sisters....Why does mommy always ask us to pose like this?

Intermission!

They twins totally were star struck, watching Disney on Ice! It was amazing to see their favorite show, Little Mermaid come to life before their eyes. There jaws were dropped most of the performance. On the way out of the arena, I asked Olivia what her favorite part was. I wish I had the camera rolling, she stopped and did a fancy ice skating move in the midst of streams of people pouring out of the arena. It was precious! This was the move she was attempting to do on dry land:

The twins' and fun times.

2009-03-28T12:57:00.005-06:00

The top pictures are from the twins first birthday the went for someone other then family. They went to a place called "Jungle Jim's". They had a blast and wore mommie and daddy out! The bottom two pictures are from our trip to the mall with Chrissy. They had a blast riding the merry-go-round!

Ketchup!

2009-03-28T12:55:00.003-06:00

This last couple of weeks was busy, busy, busy! I had kicked the flu, but being so sick for so long, left many unfinished products. Also Jonathan and I have decided to start selling stuff online on the side, so we've been a little busy with that.

Back for now!

2009-03-16T08:48:00.003-06:00

I have no clue what I had, but I do not wish it on my worst enemy! I was miserable for over a week! Luckily I started feeling better this Saturday morning!

I have tons of pictures to upload, but it'll probably be toward the middle of the week, before I have a chance to do it. I have a lot of work to catch up.

Saturday we took the twins to a birthday party at Jungle Jim's. They loved going on ride after ride. I on the other hand, weak still from my flu bug, felt a wee bit nauseous...

Sunday the girls went and saw Disney on Ice. They loved it. I loved watching their reaction to the show.

I promise more later.............

Ear Aches, and it's not Sabrina!!!!!

2009-03-09T16:28:00.003-06:00

My head is pounding, my body aches, my throat is on fire and my ear is throbbing. This has been going on since late afternoon on Friday. Saturday I saw a doctor who told me that I have a middle ear infection. I started my antibiotics and tried to take it easy Sunday. This morning I woke up from a restless night of sleep, with a temperature about 102 degrees. I felt the aches everywhere and definitely was not any better.

I have such a wonderful husband. He took the girls into the city for school/daycare, and then headed off to work. I went in to my doctor's only to be told I needed to go to the hospital to receive IV antibiotics. My loving husband came and picked me up and took me over to the hospital. He held my hand through the pokes and proddings.

I am home now, and he is picking the girls up. Hopefully I'll feel better tomorrow.........

Friday Fumes and Feelings

2009-03-06T08:54:00.005-07:00

So I was looking forward towards a birthday celebration with Andrew and Christina, however when planning these types of events between households, sometimes I don't get what I want.

I suppose I have grown some, because as much as I started out this post to vent on how selfish and other words I can use to describe my ex-husband, I no longer have the desire. I am so very thankful he is an ex, and he is so for good reasons.

Jonathan and I have been taking classes for a month now on Step-families, or Bi-Nuclear families every Thursday night. Last night was my favorite discussion. It was on strengthening our relationship. So many times when we have children, we forget about our significant other. We discussed the value of communicating exactly what we need, verses letting our spouses guess. How many times do we think, "If he'd only ......., then I'd know he really understands me." Have we told him? If we don't vocalize what our expectations are then we are only setting our spouse up to disappoint us.

My Memory of Jenna's Exotic Taste....

2009-03-05T08:06:00.002-07:00

Growing up, although we lived far away from my "Hancock" cousins, I like to think that we were fairly close. Jenna always seemed to be the up to date cousin, after all she was from California.

The year I am thinking about we went to a family reunion held at Clear Lake. The lake was so clear, you couldn't see it. My sister Abra tells this part better in her rendition of this story.

My version is similar but differs slightly. I remember we watched as they pulled out this huge chunk of meat. I am not very found of meat, and this was HUGE! I was pretty naive at age thirteen and not aware that you could even purchase meat the size of what I had seen. We asked them what it was, and we were told Buffalo meat.

Having seen Buffalo herds, I believed the elders and decided that I wasn't going to eat meat that night. My cousin Jenna, who was about twelve bragged about her "exotic tastes" and she was going to eat it.

(We found out later that it was a side of beef that we had seen. I personally wonder if our elders know what an impact their taunting had on a couple of young teens & preteens....)

Dedicated to my Uncle Bruce, The First Part Anyways!

2009-03-04T08:11:00.003-07:00

I wanted to post yesterday, but work and life did not permit. Yesterday was a Math lovers special day. It was square root day. 3-3-09. The next one won't be until 4-4-16. I actually considered waiting to get married until yesterday, but Tuesdays are just hard days....

I almost lost Olivia, again. I think the most scariest thing for a mother to do is allow her kids to grow up. Olivia is almost three and wants Independence. I don't know why, but she is very insistent on this. She loves to walk in front of me. The other night Jonathan and I took Olivia shopping with us. She wanted to walk, and since I had just the one child with me and two adults, I figured, why not? She would run a ways up ahead, but always stopped when I said stop. She'd wait until I said go and take off again. She was listening so well.

When we shop we usually have two carts, one for each girl and parent. We play hide and seek in between the aisles. It actually quite fun, especially in a place like Walmart. This trip we were playing it, but Olivia was next to me the whole time. We "found" missing daddy, and I reached up to grab some frozen veggies, thinking she was with the new "found" daddy. I turned back to the cart, and he was there, but no Olivia.

We split in opposite directions and started looking in aisles. Through each break in the aisle, we could each see the panicked face. I was getting more frantic by the second. My search took to a cashier. I explained that my two-year old was missing. She said there was nothing she could do! I started walking to the other side of the store, where customer service was. I think you could actually see my heart pounding out of my chest. I finally spotted an employee with a walkie-talkie and told her my situation. She immediately issued a code "Adam" and sent two employees to man the exits. Nobody was to leave the store with a two-year old child.

My arms were covered in goose bumps, I couldn't swallow, tears were rolling down my cheeks. I lost my basket somewhere, and I just stood there. I didn't know where to go, where to look, I myself was lost. I just kept praying that she was okay and that she would be found.

While all this was going on I lost Jonathan. After a couple of minutes, which seemed like hours, Jonathan came toward me holding Olivia. The tears of relief and joy ran down my face. I could finally breathe.

Olivia had been so caught up in our game of hide and seek, she wandered into the back stocking room. I have no clue how she got past all the employees there, but I am so grateful she was safe and sound. I think I'll keep her in the cart a little longer...........

Monday Morning

2009-03-02T08:50:00.002-07:00

So Olivia has taken to potty training!!! Yeah, I mean she hardly has accidents at all. We are so proud of her! All it took was princess underwear, and my little pony underwear, and Elmo underwear.....Who knew? She like to tease us though. In the car ride to daycare in the morning, she says "I need to go potty." I ask her if she can wait and she nods her head yes. Then she lifts up her legs, as if she ready to give birth and makes a pisssss noise. She thinks she pretty funny....so do we, although we try not to show it.

Sabrina still has no desire to go potty in the potty, but she loves to try and wear underwear over her diaper. I think we'll try again in a couple of weeks.

This Weekend Chrissy came up and hung out. We took the twins shopping at the mall for over three hours! Believe it or not, they were so could. Sabrina even fell asleep in the stroller. Olivia went potty three times! The were so good I let them ride the carousal at the mall. I have pictures, but left the adapter at home.

Andrew's birthday was on Sunday. He is now nine years old! Happy Birthday to him. We are celebrating next weekend, since he was at his dad's this weekend.

I've been Busy...

2009-02-27T09:24:00.003-07:00

I feel like a heel, I haven't posted, haven't read blogs....ever have one of those weeks?

Tuesday I received a phone call from a lady who is in the HR department for a Federal agency. She asked if I could expand my resume and customize it for a certain job. This is a really awesome opportunity, and it has consumed a lot of my time. Now I am just waiting. I hope I hear something soon, but life will still go on. It's weird waiting to see if something will impact your life, or not.

I am reminded of the big prediction of this major earthquake in Vancouver. I mean there were kids who actually stayed home from school that day. We were curious and anxious, and then nothing happened, in fact they're still waiting for the big one to come.

So just like that day, I am waiting and anticipating, but I still get dress and show up to the job I have.

My boys bonded!

2009-02-23T07:53:00.002-07:00

I pick up the boys from their father's house on Friday, explaining that I need to stop by and pick up Jonathan at his work. The boys complain, saying that's not fun, and how long of a drive it is.

We pull up to a practically deserted warehouse out in Linden. We enter a huge shop and I take them to the tool room, where Jonathan had just finished putting together a joystick to a scissor lift. The boy's eyes become huge as the stare out to the scissor lift in the shop.

Andrew timidly asks if he can climb on the machine. Much to his surprise, Jonathan says, "Yes!" Andrew starts asking 20 questions. Next thing we know Jonathan tells Andrew to turn the key. The engine sputters a little and runs. Jonathan cues Andrew on how to move the fork high, out, and then back down! Matthew is a little shyer, so he didn't want a turn. Jonathan, then let the boys stand on the prongs and gave them a little ride. He then took them for a ride in the huge truck he drives. I don't know for sure if HE knows, but he now has two little boys that are in complete awe of him.

He then offered them a job in the summer sweeping up the shop at five bucks an hour! That's a lot of dough for a little kid! They are so excited. I am so lucky to have found a husband that is so dear to my children.

Look alikes....

2009-02-20T08:35:00.002-07:00

Can you tell the difference? See the Sleeping Beauty Dress and Olivia's Princess shirt?

Look how similar the penguin's nose is to Sabrina's swollen post-op nose........(I know her face looks dirty, it's blood residue from the drainage of her nose.)

Sabrina Survived!

2009-02-19T14:41:00.002-07:00

Yesterday's surgery went well. Sabrina is milking all the attention. Will post some pictures later; just thought I'd update the family.

Potty Training....

2009-02-17T08:09:00.004-07:00

We've been working with the girls for over a year, but they just are not quite ready to be potty trained. However occasionally they do sit on the potty and pose for funny pictures. Sabrina attempting to go potty......

Sabrina again.....

Olivia really working it........

Olivia trying again........

Olivia did finally manage to go yesterday in the toilet! I am so proud. *Sniff* I can't wait till there isn't a need for diapers anymore.

The Aftermath

2009-02-16T07:38:00.002-07:00

The honeymoon was great! It started off a little rocky....We checked in to the hotel, and the room did not meet the expectations of the description online. They had all the jacuzzi suites filled that night, but moved us into one the next day. I guess some of the luck of Friday the Thirteen showed up.

After we got that all worked out, we had a great time. We even checked out the Evanston Museum. It was fun to be a couple without kids for a couple of days.

We even went to Walmart to pick up a few forgotten items. Johnathan assumed he had his wallet, only to find out that he somehow picked up my deodorant instead.....That gave us a laugh for a while.

When we got back into town, responsibilities took over and we found ourselves in the IHC instacare with the twins. Olivia has bronchitis and Sabrina has yet another ear infection! They are still full of activity and now antibiotics.

Thank you for all the well wishes and congratulations. We are truly happy together and look forward to the years to come.

Good news and Bad news

2009-02-12T09:19:00.002-07:00

Since the good new is regarding myself, I'll start with the bad news.

We just had Sabrina's follow up appointment with the ENT. Last week we had another CT scan done of her sinuses, since she has had another ear infection. Although the CT scan showed improvements from September, that isn't saying a whole lot, considering that the doctor completely flushed out her sinuses in December. All of her sinus cavities are infected. The worse one is the one that is closest to the brain. That particular cavity is the one that tends to give people the sinus migraines. She is scheduled to have surgery on this coming Wednesday.

As for the good news.....

I won't be blogging for at least three days, or at least I better not be, since I'll be on my HONEYMOON. Yes, that's right, if everything goes as plan, tomorrow after 1:00 p.m., I'll be married to Jonathan Dewegeli. He will be a valued addition to our family and I love him.

I planned this blog.

2009-02-10T08:06:00.004-07:00

I have never claimed to be the smartest, wittiest or the perfect person. I do make some mistakes and I'll be the first to admit that, most of the time anyway.

Saturday, I decided to tackle the chore of cleaning our room. See, in my house my room is the dumping grounds for the "I don't know where it goes" and the "to lazy to put in storage" and don't forget the "I have no time to deal with" junk. It also is the last room I clean, because let's face it, who sees my room besides Jonathan and myself and the kids?

I decided to thin out my shoes. I admit, I am some what of a shoe-a-holic. At one point I had over one hundred pairs. Since being diagnosed with Fibromyalgia, I can no longer wear heels. Doesn't mean I don't, I just am in a lot of pain when I do. I also tend to hold on to the really comfortable shoes, until they completely fall apart. I threw two pairs of my shoes away! I think over the last year I have dwindled down to less then fifty pairs. Jonathan still thinks I need to get rid of more, but that will come in time, I suppose.

What started all this was the fact that Jonathan bought three new pairs of shoes, and asked me to throw out his old ones. I figured I'd thin out mine while I was at it. He was so happy to have our room almost normalized! Mind you I was doing this with five kids in and out, refereeing a few arguments and doing other motherly stuff. So my mind was as usual on a 100 other things as well as the task at hand.

Yesterday morning Johnathan went to get ready for work. He asked if I knew where his boots were. I told him we'd have to find them when we got home, because we were already running late. He assumed that one of the twins had tried them on and walked out with them.

After work I get a phone call that goes something like this:

My boots are gone.

I'm sure they are there somewhere.

Nope, I searched the whole house, they are gone.

Honey, obviously you must of not searched EVERY where, because they are somewhere.

Nope, they are gone, one of the kids owes me a new pair of boots.

When was the last time you saw them?

Saturday morning.

I cleaned the room Saturday, are you sure they're not in the closet? Maybe they got thrown out accidentally.

They wouldn't have been thrown away.

During this time a strong picture came into my head of the boots in a garbage bag. I tried calling back, but there was no answer. I prepared mentally to come home to a grumpy man who just lost his new pair of pretty expensive boots. About a half hour later I got a call from him, that went something like this:

You threw my boots out.

Did I?

You know when you throw a man's boots out you throw him out with them?

I didn't do it on purpose. I love you.

(I couldn't tell if he was serious or not)

Honey, I love you, I didn't mean to. I am sorry.

Laughter......I guess now you'll have a funny story to blog about tomorrow!

He's right, I do! Thanks honey.

Believe it or Not!

2009-02-09T08:17:00.004-07:00

When RoseMarie picked this kitten, she picked the most sweetest one in the world. It's hard to believe that this is the same kitty that attacks toes in the middle of the night!

Seriously have you ever known a kitten to enjoy playing Barbies with a two year old?

Sabrina was playing Barbies Saturday afternoon with the kitty. I couldn't believe my eyes! He just sat in the "house" she made, even though she gave him ample time to run.

I liked this tag, so I nabbed it and am doing it, (thanks Mary)

2009-02-06T12:22:00.002-07:00

Where is your cell phone.....................DESK
Your hair........................................SHINY
Your father.....................................LOVE
Your favorite thing............................HUMOR
Your dream last night..........................FORGOTTEN
Your favorite drink.............................DT PEPSI
Your dream/goal...............................SALVATION
The room you are in...........................OFFICE
Your fear........................................AGING
Where do you want to be in 6 years.......HAPPY
Muffins...........................................TOPS
One of your wish list items....................CLEAN HOME
Where you grew up...........................EVERYWHERE
The last thing you did.........................SHOPPED
What are you wearing.........................CASUAL
Your TV..........................................ON
Your pets........................................DAISY, MISCHIEF, MAMA
Your computer..................................WORK
Your life..........................................CHANGING
Your mood.......................................ANXIOUS
Missing someone...............................SISTERS
Your car.........................................GOOD
Favorite store..................................ROSS
Your summer....................................REUNIONS
Your favorite color.............................PURPLE
When is the last time you laughed..........TODAY
Last time you cried............................AWHILE
Three of my favorite foods..................MUSHROOMS, CHEESECAKE, BBQ KETTLE POTATO CHIPS
Three places I would rather be right now....with ABRA (ALBERTA), ARRIKA (SAN FRAN/VAN), or NANCY (EGYPT)

IF YOU'RE READING THIS...DO IT

Rewind in Time

2009-02-06T08:48:00.003-07:00

My daughter RoseMarie, just had the class. You all know that "special" class in or around 6th grade. If you don't then maybe you had the "talk" with one of your parents, hopefully some point in your life. If you haven't, and you've reached adulthood, email me and I explain that women and men are different.

Anyways, back to the point of this.

RoseMarie received the assorted bag of goodies from the class, she has left it in the car for several days now. Yesterday the twins found it and started pulling things out....

Rewind!

I was about 13 yrs old and we were having some kind of meeting at our house. I think it was for a church talent show or something like that. P. was my younger brother and about three years old. He came in the living room and said he had "presents" for everyone. He started handing out maxi pads to everyone. I about died of embarrassment! All these friends of mine, boys included received a nicely wrapped "present".

Fast Forward!

The vivid memory and embarrassment quickly came into view as I watched the girls wave tampons to passing cars. My daughter seems to be unfazed by this chain of events! Who knows maybe my brother scarred me for life?

Life as we know it....

2009-02-05T08:09:00.004-07:00

My headache started on Monday, continued on Tuesday, and by Wednesday blew into one of my lovely undesirible migranes. The kind the take me into the E.R. for a few hours. However I awoke this morning and for the first time in a long time, I feel truly rested.

After a nightmare of fixing various issues with invoices and a fairly high stress day at the office, I took off early to spend nearly three hours at the fracture clinic up at Primary Children's. They informed me that Sabrina had a broken toe.....three hours for that? I knew that Friday night! The one good thing is that Sabrina now has a walking shoe. This means she can run, skip, hop and jump, as she was before.

After this I picked up the rest of the kids and headed to drop Rosie off at basketball practice. Oh, did I forget to mention that her team won their last game? They are 1 for 1 now in the series. I turn onto the street where the practice is held and had to hit the brakes fast. Surprisingly I had to wait for a small herd to cross the street. If you look real closely, you can see a couple of them. We head back home only to find our backyard the playground for another herd.

Sabrina, again....

2009-02-03T08:27:00.003-07:00

We went to the doctors yesterday and her toe is still swollen. In fact yesterday she refused to walk on it at all. Perhaps she might have over done it this weekend? I find it funny how when a child is an invalid, they seem to loose their voice as well. She now communicates through a series of grunts and moans and pointing. I wish she was a little better at charades, or I at reading her mind. Johnathan even felt sorry for her, because in the middle of the night he brought into the bed.

Wednesday we will go to the fracture clinic, up at Primary Children's to see if she is going to get a cast.

On top of all this, she has two ear infections, again! Her doctor wants us to go in for a CT scan to check her sinuses and see if they are filling up again. We do that this coming Friday. I hope that everything is alright; I really don't want to go through the next phase of the surgery.

Poor gal!

Ouch!

2009-02-02T08:09:00.003-07:00

Sabrina was helping with dinner Friday night and dropped a 28 oz can of tomatoes on her left foot. The result was a broken toe and a lot of blood. This is her foot after they cleaned it up!
The picture above was her getting her IV in. They had to sedate her so they could drill holes in her toe nail to relieve pressure! Showing off her IV above and below is a picture of her sedated. She was such a trooper. Mommy tried to cheer her up by sticking her monitors on odd places, but really she just wanted to be left alone! We finally got home at 4 a.m. and went to bed. The next day she was jumping on the bed and you wouldn't even know she broke her toe, if it hadn't been wrapped up!

A love for another blogger from another blogger

2009-01-30T08:45:00.002-07:00

I read Heather's blog this morning and she is an awesome lady. Heather, her husband and family have decided to donate money to a family whose child suffers from cancer. They have decided to donate a dollar for every comment made. So please click the link :http://theextraordinaryordinary.blogspot.com/ and leave a comment! You can read the story of the family:http://www.half12.blogspot.com/

Thank You!

Calling 911

2009-01-30T08:22:00.003-07:00

I need help!

This last week we have had an Arctic chill in the Mornings and Evenings. This results in making my body ache and become stiff at night and mornings. Johnathan has been such a dear and puts the girls to bed for me.

He does it all, read stories, get them drinks, and say prayers. However than it is a battle for hours before they crash. We've stop watching TV an hour before bedtime, eat an earlier dinner, warmed milk, but we're running out of options.

To top it all off, they wake in the middle of the night. I am at the point of just locking in their room! The problem is, I am afraid one of them will get hurt. We've moved their clothes out, put a lock on the fridge, aaaaaaaaaaah!

They are almost three. This means, they will find any possible way to get in to what ever they can!

Up above the fridge, no problem. We'll just move a chair like so, working together, put another on the counter and voila! We have a month's worth of cereal on the floor. Don't like the nice shiny black microwave? No problem! Mom put some blue paint up on top of the medicine cupboard and it's 2:00 in the morning, so I'll surprise her. Not only will I paint the microwave blue, but I'll add a nice blue decor to the cupboards, walls and bathroom. Mom was able to find which of us twins were behind the wonderful paint job. It was quite surprisingly easy! See, one of us girls woke up the next day with blue hair, a blue face, and blue hands! Funny though, I was the one feeling blue.

So please, please help me come up with some non child abuse methods. We have already discussed duct taping them to the beds, handcuffing and cutting arms off!

Mischeif, Mister and another name I can't think off,--Oh yeah! Midget.

2009-01-29T08:38:00.004-07:00

Isn't he cute? The girls just adore him and he lets them! They'll put him in the stroller, give him bottles, and hug him and squeeze him forever and ever and ever!

RoseMarie's B-Day Pictures

2009-01-29T08:33:00.003-07:00

This was the icecream cake that we bought on her actual birthday.
Oops, sideways and I have no time to fix it. Rosie is wearing the jester hat, and her friend Erica and last, but not least Brooke!

This is the cake that she made with the decorating cake set she got from my mom last year!

Sometimes I feel like a horrible mom because I never take pictures like I feel like I should. Oh well, life gores on!!!

My two year olds did Laundry!

2009-01-29T07:57:00.002-07:00

There's giggling coming from the other side of the door. Chairs bang into walls as their carriers struggle under their weight. The metal bangs echo as the chairs are set against the large machines. Two little heads try to sneak into the room and tackle a basket 2x bigger then them. He assists the eager helpers with sorting the items from the basket.

"No, that one is white, just the pretty colors in here."

This statement and others similar to it are what I hear from afar. I get up to investigate. My wonderful man is helping the girls start a load of laundry, allowing me to get some rest and watch American Idol.

Now I am quite sure that if HE was the one to tell the story, they were assisting him, but to-may-toe, to-ma-toe, I know what I saw.

I saw a loving father teaching skills to two eager absorbers of information. I saw their eagerness to help with a "grown-up" household task. I saw him so patiently assisting the measuring of the soaps. I saw my family.

Who Subsituted for Bob Parker or Drew Carey?

2009-01-28T07:53:00.003-07:00

I am still sore today, but it's getting better. When the weather is cold, by body rejects it.

Rosie had her party this last weekend. It went okay. I am just not quite prepared for her coming of age. What is with girls this age? She is the most moodiest person I have encountered recently. My stars! I hope that this will end, however everyone says that it only ends when they move out!

I had all my kids up this weekend. It was a lot of fun. All eight of us, plus my sister Josie in a three bedroom apartment. Thankfully we have a pretty big apartment. I can't wait until the warmer weather and they can go outside to play. We have the yard for that. For the first time in months we all went to church together. Unfortunately we were late, which resulted in us sitting in the back overflow section. Never again. I spent the good part of sacrament chasing the twins around. I took them out to do time out and they took off in different directions. Why when mother is out with the babies, does every child (all four of them) need to come out one by one to use the restroom? I find this amusing, after all sacrament is only one hour, yet they can sit and watch TV without moving for hours, if I let them! Kids just behave better if you can get a pew in front.

Last night was fun. Our ward had a emergency preparedness activity for the couples. It sparked Johnathan and mine's attention Sunday, because they mentioned "free" childcare for the girls. I never knew preparing for life's curve balls could be so fun! We played Price is Right. That's right, the game show! Our budget didn't allow Bob Parker or Drew Carey or even the Bob Beauty's, so we had to make do with "Dave" and the Dave Delightful's.......... I never laughed so hard with my ward family before. The contestants, one of which was Johnathan were able to bid on items like tin foil, cooking oil, pancake mix, etc. The even played games that allowed them to win washers and dryers (hand towels) and if portioned right a whole year's supply of breakfast (a large thing of oatmeal)! It was fun and amazing the work that was put into the activity.

Not much for blogging

2009-01-27T08:05:00.002-07:00

I hurt so bad. It's the cold weather change, mixed with fibromyalgia, I hurt. My arms and hands hurt the most. I hope tomorrow gets better, yesterday was aweful.

A NEW family photo

2009-01-27T07:58:00.003-07:00

Here we all are, including the newest addition, Mischief the kitty!

Guilt?

2009-01-23T07:47:00.002-07:00

Okay I have to admit, since my pay raise I feel a tad bit guilty blogging while at work. I hope I overcome that soon, because quite frankly I really have the time!

Yesterday was Rosie's first basketball game. Her team definitely showed drastic need for improvement. They are one of the younger teams, meaning practically the team only has Beehives on it. (For my non-LDS readers, that means girls 12 and 13 yrs old.) The other teams seem to have a fairly good spread of ages. The younger girls seemed to duck when the ball was thrown at them. I was thinking maybe we'd be better off playing dodge ball! The did manage to get two baskets, one being a three pointer, bringing their final score 5-65. Yep, the other team got some baskets. Oh well, she had fun, and that is all that counts.

Watching her play, I realized that I missed playing basketball in Young Womens. I was talking to some other cheer leaders on the side line and was informed that there is basketball for ladies later in the evening. I came back for that and learned a few things:

1. I am old.

2. I am out of shape.

3. There is a reason why basketball players don't have fake nails on.

4. I am quitting smoking today!

Number four is an obvious given, but it took running back and for on the court for me to realize that it is now a must. I love to get competitive, however I can't play and smoke at the same time. This is the last of really bad habits I must let go of, and I am doing it. Be fore warned....I may retaliate with random postings of venting thoughts.

Number three is in result of breaking a nail. Yes, it hurts! Tonight, you'd think I'd go and get them taken off, right? Wrong! I love my nails. I am going to get them cut a little shorter and get the nail put back on the broke. I'll learn to suffer through the pain, grinning and bearing it all.

I am a little bloggerd

2009-01-21T14:08:00.003-07:00

In reading all the blogs I visit, I had some great ideas to blog about. One of them was regarding the twins and their new "improved?" looks. Other ideas included funny thing the twins did, another was to post the picture I got of Rosie blowing out her candles. I am doing none of that to day. In fact I started this blog with no idea of what my fingers were going to spurt out.

Yesterday was Rosie's Birthday. It was a hectic day. I started the day out great, except for a late start in the morning, which forced me to take the freeway to work. I hate the freeway, especially in the morning rush hour. Johnathan you are right, it is faster! I got to daycare the same time as I normally did, with a ten minute late start. I hate the fact that he is right.

After dropping the twins off at daycare, Rosie at school; I headed to the store to get cupcakes for Rosie's school. I can be a "PTA" mom sometimes, but I am not usually this way. This may have been the first time that I have been able to do this for one of the kids. I got to work and had a pretty slow morning. I left to Rosie's school. I was going to take pictures, but as usual didn't think of that until after I was in my car heading back to work! Rosie got to have her 15 minutes of embarrassment, I mean spot light! She shared that her goal is to go to BYU and become a teacher. I am so proud she has an idea of a college at age 12!

When I got back to work the office was in shambles, okay not that bad, but it was very busy! I got my orders out, bills entered and it was time to leave. I hate messy desks, so I hid the mess, and picked up the kids.

Olivia and Sabrina, like most of my kids HATE wearing shoes. They get this trait from me, but it is still annoying. It never fails, on the drive home I get hit in the head with a shoe! Nothing is more surprising then to be engaged in conversation or to be singing "I have a tiny turtle" and then CONK! No warning either. I seriously think they need to invest in some kind of super glue invention for kids shoes.

Back to my day. I drop Rose off at home and go to meet Johnathan to pick up Rosie's present. I was being punished for not being able to pick up her present earlier. I mean seriously what was I thinking; shopping with two, two year olds, at WalMart, during supper time? I was in practically in tears when Johnathan met up with to take the girls back to the car. Then there was a problem with the TV we got her and something with the serial number. It never ceases, if you are in a hurry, e-v-e-r-y item will have a issue. I was so patient, waited and smiled, "I'm sorry" to the line of customers behind me. I know it's not really any ones fault, if anyone its me to blame for trying to hurry and bringing the twins along with. Poor Johnathan waiting in the car with the girls screaming like he was beating them. In fact when I came out he was standing outside the car, looking like someone might just accuse him of that!

The rest of the night went okay, we sang Happy Birthday, did cake with the neighbors and gave her the present. After the kids were laying down, I had the bright idea to start Johnathan's taxes. Needless to say I got his taxes done and was able view the back of my eyelids about 1:oo a.m.

I can't promise this'll be the last post for the day!

2009-01-20T08:45:00.002-07:00

Yesterday was an awesome day! I have hinted once or twice at my boss about a raise, but was not prepared to ask for one until the end of February.

I am an excellent employee, however I am just one of those people that have things happen. Before kids, the things that happened were workable. Since having kids, especially the twins, life just seems to be a roller coaster of unexplainable events. I mean seriously, how many of you know someone who has to leave work to get their son out from underneath a table in kindergarten? Why are you thinking couldn't the teacher do it? Duh! He was throwing chairs at anyone who got close enough!

In one week, my dad had a triple by-pass surgery AND my car's engine killed. Within less than 4 months, I get into two car accidents and my daughter almost dies!

At least I get breaks every now and then. I found this wonderful company that I now work for. The boss has twins, so he understands a little. I was told never to feel guilty if I have to miss work because of my kids!

I received a raise, not huge, but nothing to shrug at either. I have demonstrated that I am a faithful employee, within the 5 months of being here. It still surprised me all the same. There is not much work for me to do (obviously I'm blogging). It's nice to get appreciated.

The reason why I moved.

2009-01-20T08:17:00.003-07:00

In April, the girls and I moved into a small quaint home, with an incredible backyard! We thought it would be a nice fresh start, a new beginning. It was horrible. Not only did Rose see ghosts and what not, the roof leaked. I called the landlord and let her know in May. Then I called her again in June, July..... She finally got the roof fixed in September. I asked when she was going to repair the inside of the roof and walls. Her response was "I'll have someone call in a week."

Nobody called in a week, nobody called in two weeks. I did some action on my own. The first thing I did was write a nice letter to the landlord, explaining that this was a health issue for my family. The next thing I did was get in touch with the environmental department. The came out and took pictures and sent their own nice letter to the landlord. I also called the housing department and sent them a copy of the letter that I wrote to the landlord.

Talk about patience! I sent a letter every week to the landlord, environment department and housing department. I then met with an attorney. See most people would just move, but I had a one year lease at this place and I couldn't afford to break it. To quote my landlord, "It would be against the law if I let you move out and I would have to take you to court." Obviously she is unaware of a mutual breech of contract we could both sign, making the original null and void. Any, the attorney told me that if I could find a doctor that would sign a paper, stating that the mold in the house would be an environmental endangerment, I could move, WITHOUT any notice to the landlord. I would break my lease based on the mere fact that it was endangering the help of my children, primarily Sabrina.

It took all but about two weeks to get the letter. Unfortunately that was just before my unfortunate fourth car accident. We finished moving the first week of December. The landlord called me after finding out that she could not take me to court on me "abandoning" the property and left a sweetly sarcastic message.

I feel sorry for her new tenants. They are, I'm quite sure completely unaware of the battle she has ongoing with the environmental department.

This is the light that during rain storms and for about a day after, I had to make sure none of the children turned on the light. We had a shower pour from this fixture, every time it rained!
This is the wall that she didn't really think that needed to be fix after having a roof leak for over 6 months (at least)!
More of the same wall. The smell of mildew was so overpowering when you walked into the house. The environmental lady said that it was one of the strongest smell mildew she had encountered.

RoseMarie's B-Day

2009-01-20T08:13:00.003-07:00

Rosie is demonstrating how she thinks we ought to carry the twins.........

RoseMarie playing "hippie ball" She is the slender thing in jeans and boots!

More pictures to come soon!

Happy Birthday, RoseMarie!

She is 12 years old today.

One of my best friends I have.

2009-01-19T08:35:00.002-07:00

All weekend I have been thinking of what to blog about today. Not that I didn't have an eventful weekend, but how to word it in a way not to embarrass, find fault or hurt the people involved.

It started early Friday morning, although I was unaware of it. Johnathan left the house quite upset at me. I didn't suspect anything until I called him about having the car seats in his car. There was no answer. I couldn't afford to miss an unplanned day of work, so I pulled some old car seats out and went on my way. I blogged about the wonderful night I had with my daughter and how he was the one that was able to provide that for me.

Then I got a call from a "do-gooder" friend, telling me some info about Johnathan I really may or may not need to hear. I listened to it, and then called Johnathan. No answer. I sat all day with this little tid-bit of information growing like a tape worm inside of me. By then end of the work day I had this monstrous vision of what this small tidbit of information was really about. I tried to confront him, but he was upset about his thing, and I was so consumed with mine, we weren't getting anywhere. A friend volunteered to take the twins, and I left for the night.

We were over, so I thought. This ticked me off even more. How could he not see how upset I was? I was hurting, yet he didn't care. Ugh.

He texted me about 7 a.m., asking me to come home. I went home, not to talk to him, but to shower and get clothes. I saw him standing there. He hadn't slept and he looked as if he had been crying. "I love you," he said, "and I missed you so much."

We spent most of Saturday and a good part of Sunday talking about us and setting healthy boundaries for our disagreements. I am so thankful to be in a relationship with someone who listens. We know that we love each other. We also know that we will have disagreements, but now we know that we can work through them, as long as we both are willing. A good relationship takes work, especially with someone who is has stubborn as I!

Intentions!

2009-01-16T08:01:00.003-07:00

I had all could intentions to post pictures that I have taken of Rosie monkeying around with the twins, however the thingy to transport the pictures from my phone/camera to the computer is in one of its moods. I hope you can all handle my technology lingo, it's pretty sophisticated.

Yesterday was a busy one, after work that is. I rushed to get Sabrina to the ears, nose and throat doctor. While waiting there I saw a friend from the past. I am always a little leery when running into people from my past. For those that don't know, I used to be addicted to methamphetamines and was quite wild. Now that I am back on track, I am scared to rock the boat. I hadn't seen my girlfriend for about seven years. She has been clean for sometime now and like myself, went back to school and got a degree. Yeah! I can be friends with her again!

As for Sabrina... the doctor said for the first time in her short lived life, he can see deep into her nose! Also for the first time, I had a doctor tell me that her ears were dry! That means no ear infections! She did have a teeny bit of moisture at the base of her ear drum, but he thinks that it'll go away on its own. The only think that we have to keep checking on is her holes in her ear drums. He says that if the ears can stay clear of the ear infections, then they should heal on their own! We don't go back for TWO months!!!!!! Thank you for your prayers and please continue them.

Johnathan met us at the doctor office and took the twins, so that I could check out a charter school for RoseMarie. I like this school, but I like this other one better, so we will have to see. Registering for charter schools is such a pain in the butt! I have her registered at about six in the valley, but will not know until spring, if she gets into one. They base it on a lottery system, so it's the luck of the draw.

RoseMarie then had basketball practice/rule orientation for the Young Women Basketball. Her two friends played hippie-ball. They toss the ball back and forth and yell "righteous" and "peace out" and make hippie signs. Aaaaaaah, to be twelve again!!! It was nice to sit and watch Rose and her friends. Her first game is Thursday, January 22nd. I took a picture, but I'll have to post it later.

I am grateful to have a guy in my life that allows me the opportunity to spend moments like this with my kids one on one.

I did it!

2009-01-15T08:10:00.003-07:00

That's right, I did the first big scary task at hand! RoseMarie went to her first Young Women activity, and I barely cried. Her friend in the ward even came and picked her up early and I was okay. She went ice skating, I sat home with Olivia, and Sabrina and Johnathan went shopping.

Although I was sick, I stayed up until she got home. She came into the house with flushed red cheeks, bright red nose, and wet pants. "I fell a hundred times," she said, grinning from ear to ear! "Did you have fun?" I asked. She nodded her head in excitement. "I wasn't the best skater, but Brooke fell more times then me!"

I am glad she has made some friends since the move. I am glad that she had fun. I knew she'd like Young Women's. Kids grow up so quickly!

A quick thanks to those who have been so willing to talk to Miss Olivia on the telephone. If I am talking on the phone, never fear Olivia is right there, "I want to talk to her!" She gets quite loud and demanding with this request. Grandma, Aunts and close friends don't mind, however I find that doctor offices and telemarketers tend to seem a little put out if I honor her request! Aunt Josie and Grandma Layton are her two favorite people to converse with. She loves to tell Aunt Josie to look at things that she sees. Last night she would have called her another three times had I let her. She would bring me the phone and say, "Josie, talk to her."

Fear vs. Hope

2009-01-14T16:05:00.000-07:00

What do I fear one my sweet child asked me the other day.

Spiders I told him as simple as that.

It’s not as simple as that, or such a quick response. I have a daughter approaching the Junior High years, and as I look at my other children, I have so many fears. Hey that rhymed and I didn’t try!

I am scared that she won’t fit it, or have the right clothes. I am scared that she’ll do drugs or try alcohol. I am scared that she’ll be bullied, or be the bully. I am scared she’ll have a bad teacher or get bad grades. I am scared that life will scar her and she won’t want to talk to me about “stuff” anymore. I am just scared.

I am glad that I am typing this and no one has to see the tears falling on the paper……
I have hope though. I hope that I have taught her principles that she can rely on. I hope that I have taught how a wrong choice may affect her whole life. I hope that I have taught her all that she needs. I hope no matter what she knows that I love her so much, I’d die for her if I had to. I hope, no matter what, she’ll tell me what’s going on in her life.

I am so stubborn!

2009-01-14T07:58:00.003-07:00

So Monday night, just as I fall asleep around 10:30 p.m., my daughter wakes me up to ask a question. Seriously, 10:30????? So I lay in bed, with the eyes shut till about 4 a.m. The result? I was a walking zombie yesterday!

Thankfully I have a wonderful guy in my life that allowed me to lay down and go to sleep early. I was out before American Idol even started! He comes to bed at 9 and turns up the TV. I wake up. Determined NOT to have another repeat of the night before, I run to Walgreens. I pick an assortment of meds, NyQuil, Mucinex and Tylenol PM. I slept like a baby, right through the night!

Side note for us mothers.....I always thought that the saying "slept like a baby" was a little off. I mean when I think of a baby sleeping I think of waking up every two hours or so.............

To bring up the stubbornness part. As mentioned above my wonderful guy, was indeed the one who turned up the volume of the TV and awoke me. In going to Walgreens, I remembered that I was hungry and got a chili at Wendys. I came home took above mention assortment of meds and eat my chili while watching a rerun of Everybody Loves Raymond. The wonderful guy asked me to turn down the TV. I looked at him and ignored his response. See when I watch TV at night I have it turned down say volume 10 or 11, when he watches TV he has it for low volume at around 18, sometimes higher. Needless to say I eventually turned it down to like 8, but I did it on my time, not his.

I am brat sometimes. I usually when lying down to watch TV will put it at around volume 8, but just out of spite, I kept it up higher.

There is a simple solution. I will get it for him, maybe for me. They are those headphone devices that amplify the sound for people hard of hearing. Maybe that way the next time he wants to watch the news, he will wear those, instead of turning up the volume.

I have to say though, if this is the worst of our fights, I am completely happy!

21 Days?????

2009-01-13T07:55:00.002-07:00

I have been fighting a cold for the last 6 days. It's horrible! Wednesday night I felt it coming on, you know the aches, chills and sweats. Thursday my voice started going and I lost my rosy cheeks. By Friday I thought I was knocking at deaths door! Saturday I blew off my class at People Helping People and started to feel better! Sunday I went to church and felt okay, then I laid down with the twins and took a nap. I awoke in a sweat, swollen throat and no voice. It got worse from there. Monday I got up to get ready, with all good intentions, to go to work.

Rosie came to my door and and said her throat hurt, and she didn't feel very good. That's all I needed after a night of no sleep! Okay, we'll stay home and go to the doctors! I called work and took the day off. I made two doctors appointments, one for myself and one for her. Despite my sick demeanor, I was very proactive yesterday. I took three kittens to a pet store before my appointment.

In meeting with my doctor he told me that I have a cold, the flu cold kind. It's the adult form of croup. There is nothing I take to speed up the recovery process. I then asked him how long is the recovery process was. 21 days!!!!!! Needless to say I am back at work today, and will be for the rest of this sickness. Like I can miss 21 days of work!

Sabrina

2009-01-09T08:03:00.009-07:00

Well it's been a few Fridays, but I'm back on track. The last post introducing my children. My last daughter is Sabrina! Sabrina is the youngest of the twins. She also has experienced the most medical problems, related to premature birth. She is a fighter though and a real trooper.

Out of all my children, Sabrina is the only one that has inherited her Auntie's ability to give the meanest looks in the world! I have no clue how she learned how to do this, but she's been doing since about birth. She also possesses another unique talent. At four months she learned how to growl, thanks to Grandma Laurie. Although she still struggles with her speech, this child can growl in the most bizarre way. Sometimes it seems as if she is possessed! It's so funny, if I ever can figure out how to get sound up here, I'll show you!

Sabrina is a Diva, in the making. She loves to sing, quite loudly too. She loves singing along to hymns in church and to with her family. If we ever visited your ward, I'm sure you'd know, we'd be the family with the squawking almost three year old in the back. Luckily she's so cute, or I'd be embarrassed.

If Sabrina could have it her way, which she does a lot of the time, she would be dressed in high fashion! Her favorite outfits are princess dresses (any long dress), high heeled shoes (amazingly she can walk in them!), and any accessory she can get her hands on (hats, scarfs, rings, necklaces, etc.).

Her nicknames are Beanie-bot, Briny, and Cookie. Her favorite food is CANDY, frozen peas, grapes, bananas and elephants. She also loves anything princess.

I will update you on her surgery after the followup next week.

What are you?

2009-01-08T08:35:00.003-07:00

Some point in my life I came across a pretty well known poem/saying that touched me. It got me thinking about ways to approach situations in my life. Some people think issues are road blocks or barriers, but I know think of them as a change of direction or hurdles to jump over.

Some people see a closed door and turn away.
Others see a closed door and turn the knob.
If it doesn’t open they turn away.
Still others see a closed door, try the knob.
If it doesn’t open they find a key.
If the key doesn’t fit they turn away.
A rare few see a closed door,try the knob.
If it doesn’t open they find a key
If the key doesn’t fit-
They make one!

I try to be a key maker in my life. What are you?