Sometimes you just hafta yell and scream!

I am sad today. I was sad last night. I am frustrated too. Let's throw exasperated in there too.

This is a venting post. I have to get it out, so I can continue on in life without it consuming my thoughts.

My ex-husband is a self absorbed, egotistic, control freak. Sorry, our children who may read this. I've tried hiding it for years, but I can't anymore.

I let him know, two weeks ago what time frame I could take the boys this year for the holidays. I specified the 24th of Dec until the 4th of Jan. Anytime in between there. He wants me to get them on the 20th of Dec. and bring them back on the 27th.

My son's b-day is on the 29th, besides Christmas, New Years......UGH!

I've come up with several different arrangements, but nothing is good for him. Why???? Because his girlfriend's daughter is leaving that week and it's convenient for them and because the boys need a WHOLE week to play with their Christmas toys at their Dad's house before they go back to school.

Let's see.......the 26th Sabrina has surgery, I have to take a full week off to stay home with her. If she wasn't haven't surgery I couldn't even have that off. I offered to take them the 24th-27th then pick them up the 1st-4th.

Am I being irrational? unreasonable?

For seven years he has had our children every Christmas, every Thanksgiving, every other New Year. I have invited this man who insulted my family and me for years and still does, to every birthday party and important event in our children's lives.

He won't let Andrew get baptized now, he is almost 9. He won't let them attend scouts. He who chastised me for not having time to put them in after school programs won't do the same.

My son Andrew struggles there, because Mary ( his girlfriend) dislikes me. Andrew is the squeaky wheel so to say, so he gets the wrath of her anger.

I guess I can be thankful that he (my ex) chooses to remind me why we are exes and no longer together. I try and pray for him, but it so hard to do when you are doing your best not to picture running him over in your car.

I just miss my boys right now. I wish my ex could see the benefits if we work together, not a part.

I'm drying my tears and taking a deep breath and restarting the day.